


i like (the thought of) you

by halokebi



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Akaashi is a fool in love, Angst, Bokuto best boy, Canon Compliant, Confessions, Falling In Love, Kenma is so done, Kuroo Tetsurou-centric, Kuroo is dense, Like a good amount of angst, M/M, Oikawa and Kuroo y'all, Oikuroo best friends, Rare Pair Heaven, Slight spoilers of the anime, Slow Burn, like I highly advise you to finish Haikyuu before reading this, like really dense
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-29
Updated: 2020-09-29
Packaged: 2021-03-07 19:00:39
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 19,780
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26712586
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/halokebi/pseuds/halokebi
Summary: Kuroo Tetsurou thought he knew everything, but all that he didn't know came in the form of Akaashi Keiji.
Relationships: Akaashi Keiji/Bokuto Koutarou, Akaashi Keiji/Kuroo Tetsurou, Bokuto Koutarou/Konoha Akinori, Hinata Shouyou/Kozume Kenma
Comments: 15
Kudos: 118





	i like (the thought of) you

**Author's Note:**

> Hello! This is my first au on AO3! KuroAka is a very underrated ship that lives in my mind rent free for some reason. I love them a lot and I really think that their personalities compliment each other. Yeah, so, If you read the tags then you'd know that there are actually a lot of spoilers here regarding nationals and Haikyuu in general! So I really suggest that you go finish watching/reading it before you read this. But if you're fine with spoilers (you brave soul), then hey! welcome! Okay that's all! Enjoy ♡♡
> 
> (also, thank you to sonja who beta read this even though they haven't finished Haikyuu yet t___t)

By the time Kuroo Tetsurou reaches his second year of high school, he tells himself that he only has two _specific_ things to worry about.   
  
First was to remember that Saturdays are meant to go and hang out with this new friend he made at last year's training camp who goes by the same of Bokuto Koutarou, and second was to try and keep Kenma inside of the volleyball team as long as possible—because he unfortunately knows how much the latter doesn't like being there.  
  
It was simple. All of it was. Of course, he'd also have to worry about studies, and volleyball but he feels like he deals with those things as he deals with his two top priorities. He takes care of studies by helping Koutarou study when they would hang out on Saturdays, and he handles volleyball by handling Kenma. _There_. His plans were full proof.  
  
Tetsurou, despite his messy bed hair that gives the wrong first impression, knew his right to wrong. He wasn't as messy as his hair looked. He knew exactly what he would, needed and _wanted_ to achieve by his second year.   
  
He never goes in something without a game plan—no matter how unprepared he might look or seem. He was more sly than most people expect.   
  
That all revolves to now. It's the first Saturday of his second year of high school. He's standing outside the train station that he just got out of as he has his eyes darted on his phone and waits for a specific someone.  
  
Kenma would've came with, (No he wouldn't, but Tetsurou tried. He really tried.), but the younger was so adamant in finishing this video game he was playing for the past three days. It was fascinating really. Kenma usually didn't take that long for a game. On a regular basis, it only took him one night and the next day, he had a new one in hand. Tetsurou's starting to guess that the sudden appearance of volleyball in the other's life has changed it. (For the better, he hopes.)  
  
Speaking of which, Koutarou was a person who never comes late. So Tetsurou wonders what could've been so important to the point that he's been waiting at the station for almost ten minutes.   
  
Five minutes later, he recognizes a tuft of black and grey hair rush towards him and tackle him into a hug.   
  
"Hey, bro!" They part, and Tetsurou tries to catch the breath the other had knocked out of him "I haven't seen you since... a long time ago."  
  
"Two weeks ago." He corrects in a laugh before his eyes follow towards a different person, standing almost awkwardly beside his friend.   
  
Curly haired, sharp eyes, fingers fidgeting against each other out of what Tetsurou thinks is nervousness, and the slight weight he puts on his left leg as he tries to stand still. He notices all these in the three seconds it takes Koutarou to realize he hasn't done something.  
  
"Oh, yeah!" His boisterous laugh breaks the two of them out of thought "I hope it's alright that I bring a friend."  
  
"You've already brought me, Bokuto-san." The boy says—voice soothing and almost quiet if Tetsurou wasn't paying so much attention.   
  
"I guess you're right." He says embarrassed before turning to Tetsurou "This is my new first-year setter, Akaashi."   
  
"Akaashi Keiji." The boy then formally introduces. Tetsurou lets his habitual instinct of holding his hand out to shake but the other boy stays put—hands still entangled with each other and eyes looking at his extended hand.   
  
"Oh... kay." He smoothly (or he hopes it was) retreats his hand back before saying "Kuroo Tetsurou."  
  
"Nice to meet you, Kuroo-san." Keiji says, voice robotic unlike the softness it was when it came to Koutarou.  
  
Of course, Tetsurou was the type to point these small things out without a shame. His lips curl into his cat-like smirk, "Come on, Akaashi. No need to be all uptight. It's just me."  
  
"That's sort of the point, Kuroo-san." Keiji replies, face blank and bored. But the way he says his name felt like he was secretly mocking him back. It _almost_ irritates Tetsurou on how emotionless this boy could be—but he doesn't show it. He isn't gonna back down.   
  
"I see you two are getting along well." Koutarou says, as if oblivious to the sparks clashing against each other between the two boys. He grabs Keiji's wrist and throws an arm around Tetsurou's shoulder as he pulls them forward.  
  
For the whole day, Tetsurou makes it his life's mission to get _some_ form of reaction out of the mystery that is Akaashi Keiji. He fails every time because the younger seemed to have an endless encyclopedia of backhanded insults to wholeheartedly give back to Tetsurou as if he _knew_ what the older was thinking before he said it.   
  
It annoyed him. It truly did. Keiji came out of nowhere, and is suddenly acting like he can outsmart Tetsurou while also looking like it wasn't a big deal—but two can play on that game.   
  
By the end of the day, he has a few things he's noted at the back of his mind. Keiji smiles but only out of politeness, he's very good at observing which must be a good reason as to why he's a setter, he plays with his hands a lot, and he's also very tolerant towards Koutarou and his eccentric personality—which is a miracle at best. He gets all of this, but he thinks that it still doesn't tell him everything that Keiji is.  
  
He's hiding more. Tetsurou _knows_ he is.   
  
On Sunday evening, he decides that a third thing to add to his 'worry' list wouldn't be that much of a big deal.   
  
_Find out what's wrong with Akaashi Keiji._ _  
__  
__  
__  
__+++_ _  
__  
__  
__  
_ In the span of three Saturdays, Tetsurou has enough information to at least understand _some_ of what Akaashi Keiji could be.  
  
His words jab back in a polite tone but has an underlying sense of malice, he's articulate and doesn't like having things misplaced or getting things wrong. He's calm. He's _too_ calm that it's alarming. Tetsurou is almost there to believing that he isn't a human but instead a lifeless, and emotionless pile of flesh.   
  
"That's creepy, Kuroo." Kenma says to him one night as they talk over the phone. The younger wasn't the type for taking calls but he let things like those slide if it meant shutting his phone up from endless notifications from his childhood best friend that throws him off his gaming mood.  
  
Tetsurou doesn't get the chance to respond because the other stays talking.  
  
"You don't make a creepy analysis of someone then proceed to call them a pile of flesh." Kenma sounds restless, like all the years he's put up with Tetsurou would never prepare him for every next piece of bullshit the latter will do next.   
  
"I don't trust him." Tetsurou says in return "I don't get him. He's so... I don't know."   
  
"Then don't bother him." Kenma says, as simple as that. "And maybe he won't bother you."   
  
"But he's with Bokuto all the time." He complains "I can't just _not_ ignore him."  
  
"That sounds like a personal problem." Kenma says, the clicking of buttons mocking back at Tetsurou telling him that they are _way_ more important to Kenma than him. The older tries to get a word in but gets cut off. "I'll see you tomorrow, Kuroo. Bye."   
  
His room is back in silence, and as the days go by, Tetsurou is starting to hate the silence. He rethinks everything he's said, and done.  
  
No, what he's doing _isn't_ creepy. Akaashi Keiji just didn't make any sense.   
  
  
  
+++  
  
  
  
"Sometimes I want to shove Konoha into a trash can." Koutarou says, a fry in his mouth as the two of them sat in a local fast food restaurant on a Saturday afternoon.   
  
Keiji was in line ordering something since he was late to the hang out. It takes half of Tetsurou's power not to, in his words, _analyze_ the other, and listen to what his friend was saying. (In the back of his mind, he faintly hears a voice similar to Kenma saying, "You're staring, Kuroo. _Not_ analyzing.")  
  
Tetsurou's lips habitually curl up, "This Konoha boy must be quite the asshole for having the all-mighty Bokuto frustrated like this."  
  
"He is." a sigh, and when the two turn towards the sound, Keiji has already placed his tray of food down and sat beside Koutarou. "Konoha-san is nice. It's just he and Bokuto-san doesn't seem to _want_ to get along."   
  
"His fault." Koutarou says stubbornly.  
  
"You're both at fault, Bokuto-san." Keiji replies, matter-of-factly.   
  
"Akaashi! You're supposed to be on my side!" He turns to the setter, highly offended.   
  
Tetsurou watches as Keiji's lip twitches upward for the quickest second. _That's new_. He thinks to himself. He was seriously beginning to think that the other wasn't capable of showing any other emotion besides restlessness, and well, _no_ emotion at all.   
  
He starts to wonder how much he has to risk just to get that same type of reaction out of Keiji. He could try, but how many times? How many fails? Tetsurou really wasn’t one for embarrassment, but his determination can cancel out the feeling of it.  
  
"Kuroo-san's mind is in a gutter right now." Keiji's soft voice takes him out of his trance. "Is it fun down there?"   
  
" _Ha ha._ " Tetsurou rolls his eyes, before turning to the spiker, "If Konoha's being a bitch, then bitch back at him twice as harder."  
  
"That's so smart, Kuroo." Koutarou says, genuinely starstruck. "He keeps on bullying my way of spiking."   
  
"I wouldn't say bullying, Bokuto-san." Keiji hums "I'm pretty sure Konoha-san just wants what's best for you."  
  
"Spike him a ball then," Tetsurou says, taking both of their attention "in his face."   
  
"That's childish, Kuroo-san." Keiji cuts off their conversation before it could get anymore dumber "I thought you knew better."  
  
"Did Akaashi Keiji just compliment me?" Tetsurou smirks.  
  
"No, I was pointing out the obvious..." He says "that you _just_ proved wrong. My mistake."   
  
"Ouch bro," Koutarou says "Akaashi got you on that one."  
  
"I won't let a next one happen." Tetsurou shrugs, forcing his lips to stay upwards because no, he's not gonna let Keiji know that he's at least mildly affected.   
  
"Then stop setting yourself up." He answers simply, then picks up a french fry from Koutarou's plate to eat. The spiker says nothing about his stolen fry, and continues to ramble on about the things that happen in Fukurodani. Keiji nods along and hums in agreement in some parts.  
  
Tetsurou doesn't realize that he was completely quiet for the whole conversation until Keiji points it out like the _asshole_ he is.   
  
" _Cat caught your tongue, Kuroo-san?_ "  
  
Oh, Tetsurou is so close to choosing violence right now.   
  
  
  
+++  
  
  
  
Well, Tetsurou wasn't some kind of mind reader, but he was sure he was good at most things he does. He's attentive and sharp. He can read opponent's, his friend's or even _stranger's_ mannerisms, which makes it easier for him to provoke people.  
  
" _Provocation master._ " Morisuke had called him one time with the sound of bitterness on the libero's tongue after Tetsurou _somehow_ provoked the oh-so calm and collected Kai Nobuyuki to the point of blowing up in anger. _Never again,_ Tetsurou thinks. An angry Nobuyuki wasn't something he'd like to see again. It was like wasting all his nine lives to one singular blow.   
  
That's why it's frustrating now. Keiji can't be fazed. He can't be bothered. Nothing Tetsurou does, or _usually_ does to everyone works on him. And those things _always_ work, on _everyone_. Keiji shouldn't be different to everyone—but he can't see through him and his actions as easily as he could with so many people. He can't provoke him without being provoked back. He can't say something, and have the last word. Keiji always had something to say—no matter how quiet he seemed.  
  
He makes him think twice. Tetsurou is the type to think once, and stick with it. He hates the doubt that the younger plants inside of him. It's sickening.   
  
_God dammit._ Stupid Keiji. Stupid, stupid, _Keiji_. He breathes in to calm himself, as he laid on his bed in silence. If anything, Tetsurou's starting to think he's the stupid one. (And the younger boy is sure to agree on that one.)  
  
Keiji is an enigma, and after almost four months of _trying_ to understand him, Tetsurou's finally going to admit to _only_ himself that he can't really win over him. The unfamiliarity, and the mystery of him is starting to scare Tetsurou—because he has no idea how to deal with things he doesn't know, and honestly? He thought he knew everything there is to know by now.  
  
Turns out his greatest fear is starting to come in the form of Fukurodani's calm and witty first year setter.   
  
  
  
+++  
  
  
  
Maybe the stress of it all has maneuvered Tetsurou from prioritizing what was _really_ important. Keiji was third on his 'worry' list but he's starting to treat it like it was the only _thing_ on his list. (Which was bad. So, _so_ bad.)   
  
He doesn't remember the last time he let himself study for a whole night without pausing momentarily when a thought of the curly haired setter crossed his mind. Momentarily turns into an hour, and an hour turns into a full night of thinking.   
  
He has no idea how he has let this happen. It was unlike him to think endlessly about someone he barely even knows.   
  
_Perhaps_ , that's where the problem lies. He doesn't _know_ him and if it was any other person, he would've at least known one tick or annoyance of theirs. But Keiji? Nothing—and that's what's keeping him up at night. (Every night.)   
  
"I never thought you'd ever get _this_ pathetic in your life, Kuroo." Kenma had told him this a few hours prior today. "What's wrong with you?"   
  
"Nothing." He sighed, laying limp on the floor of Kenma's bedroom as the latter played video games on his tv.   
  
"Yeah, sure." Kenma replied, voice monotone but Tetsurou's known him long enough to pick out that one sense of disbelief in his voice.   
  
"I'll get over it." He said, more to himself at this point.   
  
"You won't." Kenma said "If you wanted that to happen, it would've happened five months ago."  
  
"I will, Kenma." He assured in a frustrated sigh. He _isn't_ about to argue about this. "Don't worry about it."  
  
"I'm not worried about it." His eyes don't leave his game. A silence before Kenma muttered, "You won't."  
  
"I will." Tetsurou.  
  
"You won't." Kenma.   
  
With another sigh leaving his lips, Tetsurou shot up to his feet. He made his way to the door and turned to look at Kenma who spared him the quickest look before turning back to his game.  
  
"You won't." He repeated.  
  
"I will." Tetsurou declared, more confidence than ever "Just watch me."  
  
"I am." He said "and you're failing... _miserably_."  
  
"Whatever." He huffed "I'm gonna go study."   
  
"Sure..."   
  
Tetsurou left without landing the last word—which was sort of okay because it was Kenma. He rushes towards the nearest bookshop in search of a hopeful distraction.  
  
He had around three tests to study for in this week. Those things never stress him out though because he was actually one to study more than enough to reach the honor roll. If anything (and call him crazy for it), studying actually calms his mind, because it distracts him from literally everything else that means to attack him.   
  
It gives him a sense of peace, because reviewing words he already learned about, or knowing new things that can spark up his intelligence makes him feel less nervous about knowing nothing at all—or in a slightly better description—about being left in the dark.  
  
The smell of books hit his systems and leaves him in a calm state of peace. He won't be here for too long, because he knows he has to get back to Kenma's place (that he oh-so dramatically left earlier) as soon as possible to help the younger with his chemistry exam like he always does.  
  
He passes through the shelves with half of his mind in his body. Fingers running through each spine of the book, and eyes scanning through the words on them until he stops to pick one out.   
  
He now has three in his arms, and furrowed eyebrows as he stares at the next one he wants to grab.   
  
"If you're not gonna take it, then I will." someone says, and Tetsurou's been thinking too much about him to know who it is by the first word.  
  
"It's a chemistry book for second year students." He says, taking the book out of the shelf "It's not for you."  
  
He finally turns to Keiji and realizes _everything_ that looks different. He's holding five books in one of his arms. He has glasses perched on his nose, and an eyebrow raised. Tetsurou's eyes trace through the books he's holding, half of them were literature books but what catches his eye was the fact that they're all for second years.  
  
"You're a first year." He points out, dumbly.  
  
"I like reading ahead." He says as he takes another copy of the same book Tetsurou had taken a few seconds ago.   
  
"By a year?" He asks, almost incredulously. Well, there wasn't any harm in advanced studying. Tetsurou does it all the time—but, advanced for a year?   
  
"Is that a problem, Kuroo-san?" He spares him a small look before passing by him. Tetsurou follows after.  
  
"No," he builds himself back together, and changes the subject quickly "You like literature?"   
  
"It's my preference, not that it's important." Keiji says, and maybe Tetsurou can score that as something new to put in the depth of what could be Akaashi Keiji's whole being.   
  
He wants to mention the latter part of the sentence but gets cut off immediately.   
  
"I didn't take you as someone who buys more than one book, Kuroo-san." Keiji places his books on the counter. The bored cashier was too done with life to even care about the scene in front of him.   
  
"Hey," Tetsurou snorts "I'm a great student, mind you."  
  
"Ah, I know." Keiji pays for his books and bows lightly to the cashier who doesn't even pay attention "Bokuto-san had mentioned you were. Something about 'Kuroo can be married to chemistry and he'll be content for life' or whatever."   
  
And the way Keiji says that was so nonchalant, as if he completely unaware of how vaguely mortified Tetsurou was feeling because of being exposed of his passionate love for that one nerdy subject. He doesn't get why he's embarrassed. It isn't a big deal, but why does Keiji make him feel like it is?   
  
He shakes his head before paying for his books. He turns to Keiji wondering why he hasn't left yet, "He can't keep my name out of his mouth, huh?"   
  
"It's rather hard thing to do, Kuroo-san." Keiji replies, eyes trained on the way Tetsurou's face perks up in surprise.   
  
He was about to comment on it before the cashier goes, "four thousand yen."   
  
"Right." Tetsurou mumbles before hastily shoving the money on the sleepy cashier's hand. If he believed enough, he could've swore he heard the other snort. He takes his books and turns to the younger, "Are you leaving?"  
  
"I was waiting for you." Keiji says as he turns towards the door. Tetsurou follows him, wondering how each step he takes is suddenly in a desperate whim of trying to catch up.   
  
"Why?"  
  
"Because I have time." The younger says as soon as they walk out of the store. He turns to the dumbstruck Tetsurou, and pushes up his glasses. "Do you have time for me?"   
  
"Yeah." He answers. Kenma can wait.  
  
  
  
+++  
  
  
  
Tetsurou never guessed at any point of his life that he'd be sitting with Keiji in their usual café without Koutarou as they studied the books they bought prior.   
  
With three plates of different pastries and two cups of one creamed and one black coffee, Tetsurou watches as Keiji pushes his glasses back up his nose. He tilts his head to the side and eyes shoot up to meet the older's, "It's rude to stare, Kuroo-san."   
  
"Since when did you wear glasses?" He asks. He guesses that if he can't figure out Keiji on his own, he might as well start getting to know him through conversations.   
  
("But talking to someone to know them is the most normal thing to do, Kuroo." A voice similar to Kenma's says at the back of his mind once again. At this point, much to Tetsurou's dismay, Kenma is slowly turning into his mind's voice of reason.)  
  
Although, when he comes to think of it, now seems like the greatest time for things. They're alone with nothing but their books to distract them. Koutarou wasn't here to tell his animated stories for both Tetsurou and Keiji to entertain. It was just them, and Tetsurou has all the time and focus to give to Keiji.   
  
"Hm?" Unconsciously, Keiji pushes up his glasses. Tetsurou rests his cheek against his hand as he does. His chemistry book long forgotten as he waits for an answer.   
  
"Oh," Keiji says after he seemed to finally process the question "I use contacts when I'm at school, or when I play volleyball. But I use my glasses in every opportunity I get."  
  
"Nerd."  
  
"Says you, Kuroo-san." Keiji quips back as fast as Tetsurou has said that word. He puts his attention back to the book he was reading which makes the older a little disappointed on how quickly their conversation has ended.   
  
So he tries to speak again.   
  
"Alright then," he rolls his eyes "What are you reading?"  
  
Keiji turns a page, unbothered. Maybe the younger was already so used to people asking what he could be reading that's why he stays with a blank face. (Or so Tetsurou was thinking.) "Shakespeare."  
  
"Wanna tell me about it?" He asks.  
  
It was there in a quick second where Keiji seemed to be taken aback by that question. His eyes flicker quickly from the page he was reading to the older's eyes as if trying to make sure he was serious with his question. Tetsurou's lips widen in a slightly bigger smirk. _I got you_.   
  
"You wouldn't be interested." He recoils quickly and flips a page. Tetsurou could see the way he was holding the book tighter.  
  
"Try me." He leans a bit forward, cheek still rested against his hand as his elbow held him up. "Do you not trust me?"  
  
"You're chemistry brain-rot." Keiji points out "You'll turn this book into some chemical formula just to understand it."  
  
"You seriously wound me, Akaashi." Tetsurou sighs out emptily "I can understand a book. Tell me about what you're reading."   
  
"It's 'much ado about nothing'." Keiji reads out, even looking at the cover of the book to make sure he's saying it right.  
  
"I'm sure it's something." Tetsurou argues lightly with his casual smirk.  
  
Keiji narrows his eyes at him before sighing, "I didn't even start and you're already misinterpreting what I'm saying."  
  
"Hey!" He leans back into his chair while crossing his arms "I'm trying."   
  
Keiji rolls his eyes, "'Much ado about nothing' is the name of the book I'm reading, Kuroo-san."   
  
Tetsurou nods and even let's out the softest of 'oh's to respond to what the other was saying. He lets his lips fall into a straight serious line, "Go on."   
  
And so Keiji does. He starts from the beginning towards where he left off. He furrows his eyebrows at the parts he was skeptical of and laughs at the ones he deems stupid. He seemed relaxed, and in his own world. It was truly a different sight. (An enjoyable sight, perhaps.)  
  
Tetsurou just listens, because apparently this is the most he's seen Keiji speak in one go. He feels like if he pitched in a word, he'd break everything he's built up until now and that Keiji will be back to keeping quiet.   
  
At this point, the younger was ranting about some part he didn't like and didn't understand. Tetsurou hums accordingly and picks on his half-eaten pastry as Keiji says something along the lines of, "But I think I don't understand it because a translated version can alter the real message it's trying to convey from it's native language."  
  
Tetsurou nods at that, looking up to the way Keiji's lips slightly curled up in amusement of what he was speaking about. Maybe, Tetsurou felt something inside his chest jump, but he later relates that feeling to the feeling of awe towards this new side of the other.   
  
It was at one part when Keiji suddenly stops. Tetsurou notices it immediately and tilts his head to the side, "Why'd you stop?"  
  
"Oh? You wanted me to continue?" He asks, almost shyly.  
  
Tetsurou looks around the cafe confused before nodding back at Keiji, "Yeah? I told you to tell me about it. Why would I want you to stop?"  
  
"Uh, right, um, sorry." Keiji was suddenly nervous and playing with his hands which were now rested on the table. Their books were discarded at the other side of the table. Tetsurou feels like he's unlocked a whole new part of the other. It was weird, sure, but it was intriguing. Keiji was intriguing. "You weren't saying anything so I thought it got boring."  
  
"No," Tetsurou shakes his head, genuinely confused by Keiji's sudden hyper awareness towards what he was saying. "Continue."  
  
"Uh yeah so," he nods "their friends suddenly decided that Beatrice and Benedick would make an ideal pair so they tried to set them up."  
  
"Why?" Tetsurou asks, confused once more "but don't they argue a lot?"  
  
"I guess their tension was just _that_ strong." He shrugs "you know?"  
  
"I don't."  
  
"Of course, you don't." Keiji sighs, but it wasn't like his usual sigh of frustration. It was a lighter feeling that Tetsurou couldn't put a finger on. "All you know is hydrogen and shitty chemistry pickup lines."  
  
"Can you stop with that?" Tetsurou complains but laughs either way. It dawns on him then as to what Keiji has mentioned. "How do you know about that?"  
  
"About what?" The other was about to bite into a slice of cake on his fork. His eyes a little wide from initial shock of the question.  
  
"Don't make me say it." He narrows his eyes. He doesn't do chemistry pickup lines as much nowadays but when he does, it was usually to annoy his circle of friends because he knew how much it ticked them off. He was actually aware of how shitty they really are and that's why he never uses it to _actually_ impress someone.   
  
Keiji finishes his bite of cake before shrugging, "Bokuto-san."  
  
_Of course, it was that damned owl._ _  
__  
__  
__  
__+++_ _  
__  
__  
__  
_ "Kuroo." The two of them were two hours in their study session. Kenma wasn't really too mad that Tetsurou arrived from the bookshop an hour later than he was expecting him. (Since it gave him more time to play video games.) " _Kuroo_."  
  
The said boy looks up like a deer caught in headlights before turning back to normal, "What is it? Is there a part that's confusing?"  
  
"Yeah." He says, warily at most. He points at the book Tetsurou was holding "I thought you hated literature."  
  
"Oh." He lets out the sound softly as he closes the book to stare at the cover. He had ran back to the bookshop to get his own copy of the one Keiji was reading earlier. He didn't know why he did it (and he convinced himself it was just in a spur of curiosity) but here he is now, halfway into the book despite just starting it recently.   
  
"This one is an exception."  
  
  
  
+++  
  
  
  
It was one hang out where Koutarou lost a game of rock-paper-scissors and had to stand in the obnoxiously long line of the restaurant to order their food. Keiji was sitting in the booth when Tetsurou walked back from the washroom, patting his newly washed hands on a tissue paper he grabbed earlier.  
  
"Hey, Akaashi." He says as he smoothly slides into the seat in front of him. The boy nods to acknowledge the other's presence but doesn't look up from his phone.   
  
"I finished the book you were talking about the other day." He states, and he could've _sworn_ he saw the other flinch. Tetsurou smiles to himself. He's getting newer reactions from the stone-faced first year lately. They weren't that visible but Tetsurou was one to pay attention.  
  
"You what?" It comes out almost incredulously, but Keiji being Keiji was able to mask that under the sound of his monotoned voice.  
  
"I gotta say..." he shrugs, trying to make what he's done for the other seem like it wasn't a big deal "it really isn't much ado about nothing."  
  
Keiji places his phone down on the table and focuses all his attention on the boy in front of him. An eyebrow perked up in some form of amusement before saying, "Do you want to talk about it?"  
  
They do so in the ten minutes Koutarou is suffering in the line.  
  
  
  
+++  
  
  
  
"Kenma, you should come with." Tetsurou asks while struggling to catch up to the younger. Even though his friend was notably the more shorter of the two (and less physically active), he sure knew how to escape things he didn't want to confront.  
  
"No." He answers as he picks up his pace. Tetsurou really has no idea how Kenma is able to maneuver around the busy streets of Tokyo with his eyes focused on his gaming console the whole time. "It's your responsibility. Don't drag me into this."  
  
"Kenma, come on!" He tries to argue, and if there was one thing he wasn't as confident in (not including Keiji), it was trying to make Kenma do something he doesn't want to do. He was lucky enough to get him into volleyball but mere things like going to a captain's assembly was close impossible. "It's a bonding experience."  
  
"The captain appointed you as our team's next captain. Not me." He mutters, swiftly avoiding a rushing businessman. Tetsurou, although, unfortunately bumped shoulders with that man and so he winces at the feeling. When he looks forward, Kenma is already lost in the sea of strangers.   
  
On the incoming Saturday, Tetsurou finds himself in his regular school uniform, a backpack hung on his right shoulder and a sleek black envelope with Nekoma's red stamp on it.   
  
In all honesty, it was an honor to be trusted the captain's spot of their team next year, but he wasn't all that excited for the eight hour orientation he's about to do today. He now notes to himself to thank his previous captain for his hard work for not only dealing with all this bullcrap but for also dealing with the team's bullcrap.  
  
He walks into the large building and decides to take the stairs instead of the elevator because he thinks taking a few more extra steps might erase his impending nervousness. He makes it to the lecture hall's door when he sees someone.  
  
"Akaashi?" He calls out and the boy turns to him in shock only to visibly get relieved at the sight of someone familiar. Tetsurou notes the way his hands are red from how much he's been picking on them. It's dawned on him that the said habit is indeed the result of nervousness. So that meant that the calm and collected Keiji was constantly nervous but no one noticed. _Huh_ , Tetsurou thinks in his mind. That's rather a shocking revelation to put into pieces—but then again, everything he discovers about Keiji was something shocking to realize.   
  
"Kuroo-san." The way he says it is almost breathless, as if he was holding a long breath prior "What are you doing here?"  
  
"What are _you_ doing here?" He walks towards him. When he checks his watch, he realizes that they're ten minutes early. "You're only a first year. This is strictly for second years."  
  
"Yeah, but..." he sighs "It's not like our captain is gonna let Bokuto-san come here alone."  
  
Tetsurou pauses. "Bokuto is your new captain?"  
  
"Unfortunately," Keiji sighs in agreement to the other's surprise. There was this weird shakiness in his voice that Tetsurou couldn't even process correctly. "And they appointed me as vice captain too. So that's why I'm here, but me? A first year? They should've voted for Konoha-san instead o-or I don't know Yamato-san?"  
  
"First of all, I don't think your team will last long having Konoha and Bokuto as your captains, and second," Tetsurou wants Keiji to look at him, but the sense of nervousness seeping out of the younger was so obvious with his darting eyes and the way he's picking his nails to the point where it's about to bleed.  
  
This wasn't a version of the other Tetsurou would find himself seeing one day. In fact, he never thought he'd see it at all. Akaashi Keiji? Fukurodani's ever-so sharp and collected first year setter? Being a nervous wreck? This isn't like Keiji at all—but how much does Tetsurou know about the setter to the point where he could say this?  
  
"Akaashi, are you doubting yourself?"   
  
"H-huh?" Tetsurou can't really count the amount of times the other has been stuttering already. He's somehow hurt at the sight of Keiji right now.   
  
"Hey, what's wrong?" He pushes Keiji a little farther away from the lecture hall's door and to a secluded corner "We have a few minutes to spare. You can tell me."  
  
"I-I just..." he whispers quietly. Tetsurou almost didn't catch it. "I don't know why I'm here, or why I agreed to this. They told me I could say no but..."  
  
"Why didn't you then?" Tetsurou leans against the wall they were hiding behind.  
  
"I was scared of disappointing them." Keiji admits, clutching his hands together in hopes to stop them from moving "They all seem to trust me so much, _especially_ Bokuto-san, and I thought that if I told them no then they'd say it's okay but still be secretly disappointed in me."  
  
Tetsurou nods in response.  
  
"They said I could do it. That I'm calm enough, and smart enough to do so..." he shrugs, unlocking hands to see the mess he's done to them. They were red. Tetsurou can pick out the wounds Keiji's nails made by digging them deep into his palms. "But I'm just a first year. They're all a year above me. I-I don't understand how they can put all that trust on me. I don't know if I could do it."  
  
Keiji closes his hands into fists, "What if they realize that I'm not as calm, or cool, or smart as they think I was, and that I was a horrible choice for this, and that they made a mistake by putting a stupid first year as their vice captain?"  
  
"Akaashi," Tetsurou calls after he lets a moment of silence hang between them for a bit "You're not gonna disappoint them."  
  
"And how do you know that?" He shoots back.   
  
"Well, for one, that's why they've trusted you with this." He says "because nothing you'll do will ever disappoint them."  
  
"They don't know that." Keiji says.  
  
"And so do you." Tetsurou says back "They trust you because they see the potential in you, and they believe in that. They believe in you. You just gotta believe in yourself too, you know? Don't overthink it. You're doing okay."  
  
"And if I don't?" Keiji seems determined to make Tetsurou agree with him.  
  
"Then they'll be there to help you back up." He says simply, before taking a few more seconds to add, " _I'll_ be there."  
  
Keiji falls silent, before looking up to him, "You will?"  
  
"Of course, Akaashi. Who do you think i am?" He crosses his arms with a smirk on his lips.   
  
"You're cheesy."  
  
"I've heard."  
  
" _You two_." At that, the two flinch up and turn to the teacher holding a bunch of paper in her hands. They bow apologetically and rush into the door that the teacher kindly opened up for them.   
  
They take their seats beside each other because there was no way they'd go and sit with people they didn't know. There was barely any light in the room, and only on the stage where the teacher they saw earlier was residing in. It was there when Tetsurou realized how many schools there were in Tokyo.   
  
"Thank you," Keiji whispers quickly before the lecture starts "Kuroo-san."  
  
The boy turns to his side. He can barely make out Keiji's features in the dark, but he smiles anyway, "No problem, Akaashi. Just remind me to bring you to the clinic before we get home."  
  
"Huh? Why?" His voice is quieter now that the lecture has started.  
  
"Come on, I'm not letting you home until I know you've treated the wounds on your hands." He says as he opens his notebook to start taking notes. "You're a setter. You should take care of your hands, _and_ yourself before you could care about your team."  
  
He doesn't notice the way Keiji's cheeks dust pink, or the way he stares at his hands for a moment before smiling to himself.   
  
Sometimes, Tetsurou wasn't as attentive as he says he is.  
  
  
  
+++  
  
  
  
"Akaashi!" Keiji turns around at the sound of that two days after the captain orientation. It's Koutarou running up to him with a smile, "Hey, how's the—wait, what happened to your hands?"  
  
Keiji looks down at them. They stung a bit, but Tetsurou had advised him to never forget to medicate them every morning so it would probably be healed by next week. He was even strictly told that he had to make sure that they're neatly wrapped in bandages.   
  
He looks back up to his senior and shakes his head, "It's nothing. I'll be fine, Bokuto-san."  
  
"Alright, but if you can't play later for practice then it's fine too." He assures as they walk further into their campus "I can ask Konoha to set for me instead."  
  
"He'll say no. You know that, Bokuto-san."   
  
"I know."   
  
  
  
+++  
  
  
  
It's been a few weeks since the captain orientation, and Tetsurou really has nothing in his mind right now. Summer training camp was just around the corner, and Kenma was talking about not going at all, but he trusts Kenma enough to know that he's actually going. (He hopes. He really is.)   
  
He turns to his side. His clock says that it's three am, and Tetsurou wonders how he let time slip by so quickly. He sighs and sits up his bed. Was it the three cups of coffee he drank today that made him like this? His body feels exhausted but his eyes stays awake.   
  
He then turns towards his phone. No one is awake by now. He knows that, because he knows all his friends. _Wait_ , _maybe_. He shakes his head at the thought. Keiji gave him his phone number after the orientation. They strictly agreed to only call or text if they ever needed anything, so Tetsurou isn't sure if 'I can't sleep' is a good enough reason to call the other.  
  
But Tetsurou was kind of a jerk (and a pinch of desperate) so he takes his phone and rings up the number.  
  
It takes three rings for the other to answer, "Kuroo-san? It's three am."  
  
"Oh," he says it as if he didn't know. Keiji sounded awake, and alert. "I didn't think you'd pick up."  
  
"Why did you call?" The younger gets straight to the point, but it didn't sound like he was in a rush. Perhaps, confused and slightly worried. "Is something wrong?"  
  
"No, I..." Tetsurou stops before he could get any further. Now that he thinks of it, calling Keiji just because he couldn't sleep was a stupid idea.  
  
"Kuroo-san?" Keiji calls again, voice slightly softer. Tetsurou doesn't remember the last time he's heard Keiji talk in such an emotionless voice to him, because so much as changed since then.   
  
Tetsurou decides that he can't really run anymore. He swallows up whatever pride he has tonight and admits, "I can't sleep."  
  
"That makes the two of us." Keiji laughs— _laughs?_ —before the sound of sheets ruffling is heard. Tetsurou's thinking that the other is probably laying bored on his bed just like he is right now.   
  
"Just this night?" He asks.  
  
"Not really," Keiji hums "I'm awake like this every night."   
  
"A night owl." Tetsurou snorts to himself at the connection of it all.  
  
"Yeah, a night owl." Keiji snorts "Got a problem with that, Kuroo-san?"   
  
"Well, I get that your school's official representative is an owl but I didn't think any of you guys took it that seriously," Tetsurou says "Ah well, maybe except Bokuto and his wild hair."  
  
"Have you ever looked at yourself in the mirror, Kuroo-san?" He asks over the call "You can't really say anything about people's hair when you're like _that_."  
  
"You say it like it's a bad thing." Tetsurou raises an eyebrow that he knows the other will never see.   
  
"I'm not really saying anything about bad or good, Kuroo-san." Keiji says softly before asking, "Why can't you sleep?"   
  
"Not sure." He answers "It isn't a big deal anyway. I have days like this, and I guess I just have to deal with it."   
  
"I see." Keiji hums, yet again. "Would you like to just talk until you get tired?"  
  
"How about you?"   
  
"I usually get tired around four am." Keiji shares. Tetsurou can imagine him peeking over his shoulder to look at his clock as he says this.  
  
"School starts at seven though." He states.  
  
"I know." Keiji says "It's just my luck, huh."   
  
"Why can't _you_ sleep?" Tetsurou then decides to ask, half-sure that he'll get an answer from the other.   
  
"I don't know." He sighs "I'm just like this, I guess."  
  
"You _do_ know." Tetsurou was one to respect space—to respect people while he was at it—even though he was also known to provoke. He never takes things too far when he knows the other isn't comfortable, but for some reason, Keiji isn't like that at all. Most times, Tetsurou feels like he's calling for help.  
  
"I can't hide things from you, can I?" It comes out in a soft chuckle, but Tetsurou doesn't understand how Keiji can say that. He doesn't even think he's scratched the surface of what he could be yet, even with all the days they've known each other.  
  
"I guess I'm that much of a nice person, huh?" Tetsurou teases.  
  
"Right, I'm suddenly feeling sleepy." Keiji says before letting out a really obvious fake yawn.   
  
Tetsurou rolls his eyes playfully, "Nice one, Akaashi. I totally believe you."  
  
"I've been planning on taking acting classes." He says sarcastically "Can't you tell?"  
  
"Yeah, you're doing great. Now stop changing the subject." He sits up his bed as if it would make him more focused.   
  
"Ah, I really thought you'd forget about it." Keiji sighs, half-joking and half-serious. It was one of the things the younger could pull off so greatly.   
  
"You really have no faith in me, Akaashi."  
  
"Only sometimes, Kuroo-san." He says softly, voice slightly mumbled by the way he was probably resting his chin on his knees as they were pressed against his chest. He must be sitting up his bed too. Back against the bedrest with pillows to save him from having a sore back tomorrow. "Interhigh is coming soon."   
  
"Is that what you're troubled about?" Tetsurou asks. If he remembered his first high school interhigh, he was more excited than anything else.  
  
"Not really." He answers "They put me as their starting setter, because I apparently handle Bokuto-san well."  
  
"I mean, it's really a miracle to put up with his sorry ass." Tetsurou laughs "Even I can't do it."  
  
"That's because you join _in_ with his shenanigans, Kuroo-san." Keiji says, exasperated "You don't even try to stop them, and sometimes? You even _start_ it."  
  
"Me and Bokuto go way back." He breathes out contently, slowly reminiscing through memory and memory in the six seconds Keiji stays quiet.  
  
"You talk like you're sixty years old, Kuroo-san." Keiji comments.  
  
"And?"  
  
"You're also a pain the in ass." He adds after.   
  
"Wow, I never thought I'd see the day when Akaashi Keiji would curse." Tetsurou sighs "and to me? What should I be? Honored?"   
  
It takes a moment before Keiji bursts out laughing at the other side of the line. It was more than Tetsurou has even heard from him, because usually it was small fits of giggles or a snort of amusement. But right now? Keiji was full on laughing.   
  
It rings through the phone almost like a melody. Tetsurou doesn't realize it until he catches his reflection on his window that he was smiling a little too much along to the sound of the other.   
  
"Y-You're crazy." Keiji says through his laugh "Truly a pain in the ass."   
  
"But you feel better, don't you?" Tetsurou says softly, only feeling the way his cheeks hurt when he stops smiling.  
  
"I don't want to say yes because I might fuel your ego, Kuroo-san." Keiji seems to have calmed down on the laughter. "So, I'll say a little bit."   
  
"Whatever you're anxious about," Tetsurou finds himself laying back down on his bed and staring at the ceiling of his room "It'll be fine."   
  
"We don't know that." Keiji hums back softly. The microphone sounds muffled. He must be laying down too.   
  
_We._ "But do you trust me?"  
  
"Unfortunately," Keiji yawns unconsciously, and _maybe_ Tetsurou felt his heart twist at it. "I do."  
  
"Then have a goodnight, Akaashi." Tetsurou says "You sound sleepy."  
  
"For your information," Keiji yawns once more "It's morning."  
  
"Okay, smart-ass."   
  
"Goodnight to you too, Kuroo-san."  
  
  
  
+++  
  
  
  
The training camp goes by as quickly as that. Tetsurou had to work twice hard to make sure his seniors don't try and bully Kenma in the slightest. He knows how much that was effecting the younger boy without him even saying it.  
  
It was only after the training camp was a practice match between Nekoma and Fukurodani. The two schools were close because apparently their current third year captains were long time rivals.   
  
Tetsurou shouldn't be nervous. He's talked all kinds of shit towards Koutarou about beating his ass in their next games, and the games to follow. It wasn't even that long since they had a match with Fukurodani.   
  
Maybe it's because this was the first match the team was having without their third years, and Tetsurou's first match as the captain of the team. He's sure it's the same with Koutarou because across the court he could see the defiant black line under the number four of his jersey.   
  
He takes his spot on the court. Kenma was doing the starting serve and Tetsurou's hopeful that the latter wasn't feeling like slacking today.   
  
"Nervous, Kuroo-san?" He turns his head towards the boy across the net from him. Keiji's lips were perked up in a smirk, almost mocking how Tetsurou always had his lips in. "Or should I say, captain?"  
  
"For the record, Akaashi." Tetsurou snorts, mirroring the other's smirk "Bokuto's your captain."  
  
"No correlation, but okay." Keiji shrugs. Tetsurou can see the lack of bandages on his fingers, but as he looks closer, there were barely any wounds anymore. If he looked at his eyes, he seemed brighter than usual. He can't spot the usual dark lines underneath his blue-green eyes. Things changed—or Tetsurou is thinking. Maybe, they're _still_ changing.   
  
"Well—" but Tetsurou gets cut off by a ball hitting the back of his head. He shoots forward before catching himself. He turns around, hand on the back of his head and a pissed off look.  
  
Morisuke had no shame and was already laughing his ass off. Nobuyuki seemed to be amused, but he was a caring soul and so he was first to ask if Tetsurou was okay. Kenma, although, was standing at the service area with arms crossed and an eyebrow raised.  
  
"Kenma." Tetsurou narrows his eyes.  
  
"Sorry, my hand slipped." He replies calmly as he walks into the court, waiting for the ball since it's Fukurodani's turn to serve.   
  
"Seriously..." he keeps his glare at Kenma steady for the next few seconds before turning back to the other team.   
  
Keiji stands biting his lip to stop his smile, "Are you doing okay there, captain?"  
  
"Akaashi, I—" "Bro, I really thought your hair would soften the impact of the ball." Koutarou comments, and Keiji ultimately bursts out into a quiet fit of laughter as the rest of Fukurodani laugh a little louder overshadowing Keiji's voice. (Not that Tetsurou was complaining. No, he wasn't complaining.)  
  
Tetsurou knows he can't fight the embarrassment crawling up his face at this point, but he turns to his team to remind them what they're here for. After a few more playful jabs to the bed-headed captain, Keiji meets his eyes again, "You're going down."   
  
"I'd like to see you try."   
  
And Tetsurou _did_ see Keiji try, and he also watched as his own team lost _miserably_. Koutarou surprisingly made a good leader for the the seven member team, and it almost made Tetsurou a little bit salty.   
  
Morisuke nudges him in the ribcage to which Tetsurou comments that he's too short to aim anywhere _but_ his ribcage. The libero rolls his eyes, "Listen gigantor, the next time you want us to win a game. Try not to flirt with the other team's setter. You're not as smooth as you think you are."  
  
"I'm not—" "You're cleaning up the gym since you're basically the reason on why we lost." Morisuke then singsongs "You can't say no."  
  
"You're not even letting me speak—" "That's the point." He says as he leaves the gymnasium with the rest of the team to go to the cafeteria and eat lunch.   
  
Tetsurou realizes that he's left with silence again. Fukurodani left a few moments earlier to go and eat their lunch. The Nekoma captain knew for a fact that he wasn't supposed to be cleaning the gym by himself but instead with the whole team, but he guesses they're right. He's kinda the reason why they lost anyway.  
  
He sighs and decides to start by picking up the abnormally many balls scattered on the floor. Maybe his team thought it would be funny to give Tetsurou more work to do.   
  
He throws a ball into the ball cart like a basketball before picking up the rest of them. He was about to reach the last ball when someone picks it up for him, "Here."  
  
"Shouldn't you be eating?" Tetsurou asks with a raise of an eyebrow.   
  
Keiji shrugs before calmly humming, "Bokuto-san left something here. I went to go get it since our coach wanted to talk some sense into him for his leadership skills today."  
  
"I think Bokuto did rather good today." Tetsurou follows Keiji to one of the polls of the volleyball net but none of them act on untying the said net.   
  
"That's because you lost, Kuroo-san." Keiji says "If you were in our team, you would've seen how poorly Bokuto-san was pulling himself together the whole game."  
  
"Yeah, he barely shot some cross shots when I think of it." Tetsurou leans on the pole "but it was nothing I couldn't block."  
  
"But you still lost to us." Keiji says.   
  
"Yeah, can you stop pointing that out, Akaashi?" He says tiredly. "What matters is that we had fun today."  
  
"That sounds like something a sore loser would say." Keiji nonchalantly steps back, hands resting behind him as Tetsurou sprung forward.   
  
"You little—" "Why don't you teach me how to block, oh-so great middle blocker Kuroo-san?" Keiji teases while getting a ball and throwing it to the other.   
  
"You can't practice blocking without a spiker." Tetsurou states out while unconsciously spinning the ball in his hands.   
  
"We can figure something out." Keiji assures, and Tetsurou finds himself trusting him.   
  
  
  
+++  
  
  
  
"Hey Konoha," Koutarou asks Akinori who was trying to buy something out of the vending machine "Have you seen Akaashi?"  
  
"Akaashi this, Akaashi that." Akinori sighs out as he reaches for the can of coffee he had just bought. The blonde stares over to his mildly offended captain. "He said left something in the gym earlier. Maybe he's there."   
  
"That's weird. He wasn't holding anything when we got there." Koutarou ponders.  
  
"Of course, you know that." Akinori sighs out "Whatever. I'm going back to the cafeteria."   
  
"Yeah, sure." He waves but Akinori has already turned around to even see Koutarou wave at him. The captain scoffs to himself, "Konoha Akinori. What an ungrateful man."   
  
He turns around and (faintly) stomps his way to the gymnasium where the sound of people playing volleyball catches his attention. He opens the door slowly and his eyes immediately sparkle at the sight of Keiji and Tetsurou playing a one-on-one match.   
  
"Akaashi, if you want to block, block like you mean it. Don't just throw your hands up in the air." Tetsurou points accusingly at the younger boy. "I swear you're almost as bad as Kenma."   
  
"What was that—" "Hey, hey, hey." Koutarou skips towards the two "You're practicing without me?"   
  
"Bokuto-san!" Keiji turns around immediately at the sound of his senior.   
  
"Well, Akaashi said something about you getting scolded by your coach so you had to stay behind." Tetsurou teases "You're not that much of a good captain, now are ya?"  
  
Koutarou stands still, momentarily confused. But Keiji was with him when the coach scolded him, and was also with him when it was over. Keiji only left a few minutes after that small lecture which led to Koutarou trying to find him.   
  
He turns to look at Keiji (who's nervously not looking at his direction) a little bit worried and confused before turning to Tetsurou who was still smirking back at him. He decides to question his setter about it later and crosses his arms, "You're not a good captain too, Kuroo."   
  
"But I'm a better one than you." Tetsurou shoots back.  
  
"Now, now. No need to fight about this." Keiji is back to his senses "We all know the both of you are still really bad at it."  
  
"AKAASHI!" The two shout, but Keiji doesn't flinch at the sudden and loud sound.   
  
Everything falls back to normal. Tetsurou explains how Keiji wanted to get better at blocking, and Koutarou became naturally hyped up about it saying that it was nice to know that Keiji wanted to improve for the betterment of the team.   
  
And Tetsurou didn't like overthinking. So he chooses to ignore the way Koutarou was looking at Keiji during the whole time he was there.  
  
  
  
+++  
  
  
  
Tetsurou decides that he wasn't going crazy. Well, there wasn't really anything to go crazy for. It wouldn't be his business if Keiji and Koutarou ended up liking each other, and started to date, and get married and adopt dogs (or maybe even owls) to keep them company as they lived life together until they grow old.  
  
It really wasn't his business, and fortunately, none of those things have happened yet. But he _feels_ like it's gonna happen soon. With the way the two are getting closer, he knows it's gonna happen soon.   
  
So, why does he want to stop it?   
  
He can't though. That shouldn't be a suggestion at all. He loves Koutarou. He's his best friend, and all he ever wants for him is to be happy. Keiji too. Keiji deserves to be happy as much as Koutarou does. They can be happy together. (But the thought of that somehow makes Tetsurou's stomach twist in pain.)   
  
" _Kuroo_." It was the two of them in the older's room one day as they studied. "Kuroo, you're distracted more than usual."  
  
"Distracted?" Tetsurou raises an eyebrow at Kenma who was playing on his gaming console hidden behind a bulky history book. "What about you?"  
  
"I'm not distracted." Kenma says, the sound of buttons so clear in the quiet room "I'm waiting for you to _stop_ being distracted because I can't understand this without you talking to me."   
  
"I'm..." Tetsurou burns up at embarrassment of being caught "Sorry, Kenma. Just thinking."  
  
A sigh, but Kenma still has his eyes on the game.  
  
"You think too much, and tell people not to think at all. You read people's feelings, but can't even understand your own. You make people talk, but you don't even speak at all." Kenma subconsciously hums out the complaint before muttering " _Hypocrite_."   
  
Tetsurou, despite a year older than the other, can't say anything back because well, it's Kenma. And he was always seemingly right. (Or, Tetsurou refusedly admits, always right when it came to arguing against him.)  
  
  
  
+++  
  
  
  
"Don't you think it's kind of dumb, Kuroo-san?" Keiji asks over the phone. It was nearing two am, and in the last few weeks, the two had made this silent agreement to call each other whenever one couldn't sleep. (Which ended up being almost every night.)   
  
Keiji was talking about a book he read recently. One that wasn't Shakespeare or one with a difficult name that Tetsurou couldn't pronounce for shit. Tetsurou's mind was everywhere though. He kept on trailing back to what Kenma had told him. He kept on thinking about Koutarou.   
  
And of course, there's Keiji.   
  
"Yeah, I guess." Tetsurou replies a little bit late than expected. "But maybe they had a good reason."  
  
"I don't think there's a good reason behind murder, Kuroo-san." Keiji scoffs lightly.  
  
"Maybe they wanted revenge." Tetsurou shrugs.  
  
"Were you even listening to what I was saying?" Keiji says, but he didn't sound offended. "They're insane. That's the whole point of the book."   
  
"I always thought you're the romance novel kind of guy, Akaashi." Tetsurou comments "Not the I-will-kill-people-because-I-want-to novel kind of guy."  
  
Keiji chuckles, "Look, if you're tired, then I can stop talking and you can head to sleep. Finals are coming soon, right?"   
  
"Sleep? Then what about you?"  
  
"I can stay up reading." Keiji probably shrugged. Tetsurou kind of realized that the other does that a lot. "And I'll fall asleep after that. It isn't a big deal."  
  
"You don't talk a lot." Tetsurou suddenly points out, out of _nowhere_ at all. Keiji even lets out a small sound of shock-like confusion. "Well, before."  
  
"You think I talk too much?" Keiji asks  
  
"No! Well, it isn't bad but," Tetsurou sighs. He should've kept quiet, but he can't stop now. He has so many things kept in. And maybe Kenma was right. He _was_ a hypocrite. But he can't just simply wear his heart on his sleeve.   
  
"I don't know." He continues. Keiji was silent, probably listening. "You were just so _quiet_ and—no offense but—mean when I first met you. And I couldn't _understand_ you. I didn't _get_ you, and that kind of scared me. Unfortunately."  
  
Keiji hums in response.  
  
"And then I talk to you, and suddenly you're this completely different person. You just keep on surprising me, and it makes me go a little more crazy, you know?" He explains. And at this point, he feels like venting out all the shit he's been keeping in for the past few days. "I never took you as this person who's a dork when it comes to all forms of literature, or the type to be able to talk about it for two hours nonstop. Or, hell, the type to even _talk_ for two hours nonstop."  
  
"You're this overthinking wreck that no one notices because you're so good at hiding it." Tetsurou says "You're scared, and anxious. You don't trust yourself. And sometimes that's really insane because have you seen yourself?"   
  
"You doubt yourself too much, Akaashi. You give yourself so many reasons too." He sighs "But I wish you would realize that there are more reasons as to why you're better, and that you're already doing so good."  
  
A long silence. It's deafening, and all Tetsurou could feel and hear was his heart pumping through his chest. He fucked up. He knows he did. Keiji won't even speak, and now it's all over.  
  
"Kuroo-san?" If Tetsurou was really focusing, he'd realize that Keiji had only been quiet for at least ten seconds. "It's three am. You should go to sleep."  
  
"Right, yeah." He breathes out, almost shakily but he hopes that Keiji didn't catch that. (But knowing him, he did.) "Goodnight, Akaashi."  
  
"Goodnight, Kuroo-san."  
  
  
  
+++  
  
  
  
**Kenma !** **  
****> **Kuroo, you're an idiot.  
  
_Sent Thursday, 3:45 am_ _  
__  
__  
__  
_**Kuroo !** **  
****> **Thanks, I know.   
  
_Sent Thursday, 3:47 am_ _  
__  
__  
__  
__+++_ _  
__  
__  
__  
__"_ Akaashi?" Koutarou calls out to the first year one day during practice. He seemed worried, and nervous—like he was trying to build up the courage to ask Keiji this for the past days. "Are you okay?"  
  
"Huh?" The setter tilts his head to the side before tossing the ball to Akinori who spikes it so hard that it resonates a loud sound through the gym. "Yeah, I'm fine."   
  
"Weird, but sure." Koutarou narrows his eyes for a bit before letting it go. Keiji looks at him confused as the spiker walks away. He turns to Akinori.  
  
"Konoha-san?" He calls out softly "Did something happen to Bokuto-san?"  
  
"What? We should be asking _you_ that." Akinori snorts out as if what Keiji had asked was the stupidest thing ever. "You're the one who's been smiling like an idiot for the past two weeks."  
  
  
  
+++  
  
  
  
The third year's graduation was just around the corner. Tetsurou has been really busy with the final exams, and preparing to officially be the new captain of the volleyball team. He was given paperworks after paperworks that lead to many nights of staying up and doing them.  
  
He didn't want to think too much about the fact that he and Keiji hasn't been talking as often as before. He likes to think that it's totally because of the amount of work that is being put onto him, and also towards the young setter. (It's totally not because of that other night.)  
  
Saturdays became days where Tetsurou doesn't go out. Koutarou seems just as busy as him since he's literally on the same boat as the new Nekoma captain. Tetsurou still has to find hopeful new players for the team to replace the ones they've lost.  
  
He only gets to see the two Fukurodani students during graduation day. Apparently, Nekoma and Fukurodani had their graduation at the same venue but at different times, and since their captains are good rival-friends, the two volleyball teams went out for a celebration.   
  
Kenma was beside Tetsurou as they sat in the venue which was Nekoma's previous captain's house. It was almost a mansion. Tetsurou didn't really know the previous captain was _this_ rich.  
  
"I can't believe you came along, Kenma." A voice hums as Tetsurou and Kenma sat at a couch in a quiet part of the house. They could hear the wild partying from the other side which consisted of continuous cheers to chug down drinks and to dance. It wasn't Kenma's style, and surprisingly, it wasn't Tetsurou's style either. So the two best friends decided to reside at a quieter place.   
  
"Oh, Keiji." Kenma doesn't look up from his game but Tetsurou does because since when were the two close enough to call each other by their given names?   
  
He gets even more confused when he doesn't spot a spiky haired owl and instead, a calm blondie. He furrows his eyebrows, "Where's Bokuto?"  
  
"Ah, the ex-captain wanted to, quote, baptize him, unquote, since he's the new captain and all." Akinori says as he drops at the space beside Tetsurou.   
  
Keiji grabs a chair and pulls it closer to the other three, "I think your captain is trying to find you too, Kuroo-san."  
  
"No thanks." Tetsurou sighs "Who knows what they'd make me do?"  
  
"You've done a lot of stupid things already, Kuroo." Kenma says "This shouldn't be anything new."  
  
Keiji chuckles. Tetsurou thanks the fact that the room was dark to hide his hopefully not apparent embarrassment, "Whatever."  
  
The four fall into a comfortable silence. The only thing heard was the vague sounds of partying from the other side of the house, and the music coming from Kenma's video game. Keiji was leaning to watch over as the fellow first year played his game. Tetsurou wonders how they've gotten so close.  
  
"So, Konoha." Tetsurou decides that he'll start toying with the only person he could confidently provoke. (Since Kenma and Keiji were obvious picks to not bother or else he'll lose.) "What brings you here and not out there?"   
  
"It's too loud." Akinori sighs while closing his eyes as if it would give him some kind of remedy. "It hurts my head."  
  
"Really?" Tetsurou smirks "I've heard from Bokuto that all you do is _be_ loud."  
  
"Wow, coming from him, huh?" Akinori scoffs in disbelief "What an idiot. He can't even do anything right. I don't even know why he's appointed captain."  
  
"We could've made it you, Konoha-san. You were our first choice." Keiji chirps in "But you refused it."  
  
"Because Bokuto wanted it." Akinori opens his eyes to look at Keiji.  
  
"And so you gave it to him?" Tetsurou then adds. Akinori pauses for a bit, realizes something, then nods his head slowly. "And here you are _complaining_ that he doesn't deserve it. I'm really wondering who's fault it is, Konoha."   
  
"I–whatever..." Akinori huffs and stands up "I'm going home. I'm tired."  
  
"Same." Kenma suddenly says while tugging on Tetsurou's sleeve softly "Let's leave."   
  
Tetsurou doesn't respond but turns to Keiji, "And you, Akaashi?"   
  
Keiji looks around the empty room before nodding, "Yeah, sure. I'll just leave Bokuto-san a text."  
  
"Stop worrying about him for a day, and you'll be stress free, Keiji-kun." Akinori hums while throwing an arm around the first year's shoulder "It'll be a nice change."   
  
"Ah," Keiji smiles politely "I can't believe you—out of all people—are saying this to me, Konoha-san."  
  
Tetsurou doesn't miss the way Akinori's face burns in embarrassment with a roll of eyes to follow. He chuckles to himself as he walks out of the venue, not forgetting to excuse themselves to the other people. Keiji promises Koutarou that he'll be back to get him, which Akinori inevitably scoffs at.   
  
They all part ways. Kenma ended up leaving them at one point to walk home himself. Akinori lived some place too far away from the rest of them so he had to catch the bus before there weren't any left. Tetsurou offered to walk Keiji home.   
  
"You didn't have to do this." Keiji says as they walked through one of the many quiet neighborhoods of Tokyo. It was already night, or maybe morning—Tetsurou didn't check the time since seven pm. The only form of light was the lamp posts and the moonlight. "I'm fully capable of walking myself home."  
  
"Can't you just let me be a nice person?" Tetsurou sighs in mock offense.  
  
Keiji laughs, "I can't let you be what you already are."  
  
Tetsurou finds himself unable to respond. They walk a little bit further until Keiji stops. They're in front of a house, not too big yet not too small either. The setter stares at the ground before turning to Tetsurou who was already looking at him. He was playing with his hands again but it wasn't as bad as Tetsurou remembered it to be. Although, he still wants to reach out to Keiji and stop him.   
  
"Kuroo-san." He calls out even though they were already staring at each other. Tetsurou feels the world stop, and it sounds cliché but he can't seem to move. The lamp post made Keiji's eyes shine brighter than they usually did.   
  
Keiji swallows down whatever nervousness he has left, and drops his hands to his side. It felt surreal. Keiji didn't seem like he was trying to keep calm. It looked like he just wanted to rush. "I like you."   
  
_What?_ _  
__  
_ Tetsurou's eyes widen slightly at the confession. Keiji decides that now was the best time to stop looking at him, "For a long time now..."  
  
"Oh." Tetsurou lets out dumbly. _Oh so_ dumbly. Keiji winces at that reaction before his hands find each other again.   
  
Tetsurou wants to stop this. Maybe run back. Maybe he should've stayed at the party. Maybe let himself get 'baptized' by his stupid ex-captain. Restart, or at least never let this moment happen. Anything to keep him from this moment.  
  
"Y-yeah, um, I just wanted to let you know because I..." Keiji was suddenly just choking out words. He didn't look hurt or anything—just very scared. Tetsurou regrets this. He needs to get out of here. "I-I thought you felt... Never mind. It's dumb now that I think of it."   
  
"Akaashi."  
  
"I'll see you after the break?" Keiji beats him from speaking. Maybe he wants to run away as badly as Tetsurou does right now, but Keiji was one to hide.   
  
"Yeah, okay." He ends up letting out. "I'll see you around, Akaashi."  
  
A faint smile, most likely out of politeness—like how Tetsurou always knew Keiji. _No_ , he knows Keiji more than this. He does, and it’s more than he wanted to. Is he too late?   
  
"Goodbye, Kuroo-san." Keiji spares him one last glance before turning and walking into his house.   
  
Once again, Tetsurou finds himself unable to grasp the last word.   
  
  
  
+++  
  
  
  
The break goes by quickly than Tetsurou expected it to. He had nothing to do, nothing to keep him distracted. There was nothing to study about, nor is volleyball doing a good job in helping him forget. Koutarou hasn't messaged him at all this break, and he's assumed that Keiji has already made him hate him. He doesn't understand the numbness he's feeling in his body right now. It's suffocating.  
  
"Kuroo." There's something poking his back, but Tetsurou doesn't mind it as he had cocooned himself inside of his blankets "Kuroo, get up."   
  
"Kenma, go away." He groans into his pillow. "It's like five am."  
  
" _Wrong_. It's five pm, and your dad's getting worried about your existential state to the point where he's trying to make me care." Kenma drops onto him. Tetsurou feels the slightest bit better feeling the smaller boy's arms wrapping around him from outside the blanket. Sometimes, Kenma was nice like that. "What even happened anyway? I let you be sad for a week knowing you'll tell me but, it's been two weeks and I'm actually starting to feel bad."   
  
"Kenma? Feeling bad for me?" Tetsurou manages to tease "What did I do to deserve this?"  
  
"Tell me what happened, Kuroo."   
  
"Akaashi confessed to me." Tetsurou says, as simple as that. He expects a reaction, even the slightest, but all Kenma does is push himself off of him and sit on the bed.   
  
The lack of response makes Tetsurou get out of his cocoon. Kenma raises an eyebrow, "Your hair still looks like shit."   
  
"Thanks."  
  
"So what did you say to Keiji?" Kenma asks, genuinely curious.  
  
"I didn't."  
  
"You..." and that was the most expressive expression Tetsurou has ever seen Kenma have. With confusion drawn all over the boy's face, he stares at him, "I thought you liked him back."  
  
"Like him..." Tetsurou thinks he's too sleepy to comprehend "what?"  
  
"Your confession." Kenma says, trying to recall that one night Keiji had suddenly spam messaged him at two am. (Which was weird because at the time the two were barely even close, and Kenma didn't think Keiji was one to spam message or scream.)   
  
"Kenma, I didn't confess." Tetsurou furrows his eyebrows.   
  
"He said you did."  
  
"I didn't."  
  
"Then..." the confusion becomes more evident in Kenma's face to the point where it's almost amusing. But then, his eyebrows tense badly and Tetsurou has realized how much he's fucked up. "What the fuck was _THAT_?"   
  
"What was what—?" "Kuroo, you don't just do all that, and _say_ all that for a person and expect them not to think..." Kenma was furious, and it was such a sight. (A sight that Tetsurou notes to never try experiencing again.)  
  
"I–" "Nope, not doing this. I told Keiji that I wasn't gonna deal with this because it's involving you and I hate things involving you because it's always so _messy_ —but Keiji is nice, and I felt bad." Kenma stands up before looking at him accusingly " _You're_ not though. You idiot."  
  
"Kenma—" "Don't talk to me until you've fixed everything, Tetsurou." And with that, Kenma makes sure he shut the door loud enough for everything to sink in Tetsurou's mind.   
  
Although, it doesn't.   
  
  
  
+++  
  
  
  
**Bokuto !** **  
****> **dude, are you free?  
  
_Sent Friday, 2:34 pm_ _  
__  
__  
__  
_**Kuroo !** **  
****> **yeah, anytime.  
  
_Sent Sunday, 6:45 pm_ _  
__  
__  
__  
__+++_ _  
__  
__  
__  
_ For some reason, Tetsurou really hoped that Keiji would be there when he and Koutarou decided to meet up and play volleyball the day before their first day of school. He shouldn't be disappointed when he finds out that he didn't come along. It's his fault anyway, and he knows that.  
  
"Tomorrow, we're officially third years." Koutarou says while spiking a ball Tetsurou set. "What are you thinking?"  
  
"I'm thinking that I'm gonna beat your ass in Interhigh and you'll see me on tv playing in Nationals." Tetsurou smirks.  
  
"That's big talk from someone who lost to us last year as we went to Nationals." Koutarou shrugs with a smile.   
  
"Asshole." Tetsurou grits his teeth mock annoyance "Whatever, our team's got some good first years and Kenma's feeling more comfortable now that our third years aren't there to attack him or something."  
  
"My team is doing great." Koutarou says in return, before cautiously adding "and so is Akaashi."  
  
"That's good." Tetsurou suddenly feels like he's trapped, but he doesn't want to worry his friend so he smiles, "Glad to hear that."   
  
The two fall into a silence which was weird because they never really do that. Tetsurou tosses Koutarou another ball. The other almost misses it, and that's when he realizes how nervous the other has been, and _was_ ever since they started to hang out today.   
  
"Is there something you want to tell me, Bokuto?" Tetsurou tries to keep his voice as normal as possible, letting himself tone it teasingly with a raised eyebrow and a smile.   
  
It takes Koutarou a second before he turns to the other, "I'm dating Akaashi."   
  
Tetsurou feels like his body is about to give up. He keeps his smile on though, "Good for you—the both of you."   
  
"You're not mad or anything?" Koutarou says in a small voice.  
  
"No." He shakes his head. There's no way he can be mad at this. It's not like he accepted Keiji's confession back then, and it's not like he could get mad at Koutarou for wanting to be happy. It's not like he _likes_ Keiji, but why does he feel so fucking betrayed? "Why would I be?"   
  
"I thought you liked him." Koutarou says simply.  
  
"I don't." He shakes his head.  
  
"Okay," Koutarou nods before muttering another 'okay' to himself under his breath. He turns to his best friend "We're cool, right?"   
  
"Yeah." Tetsurou is still smiling. How is he still able to keep it up? "We are."   
  
"Great, uh," he breathes in, and Tetsurou can feel the relief the other lets out when he exhales. Oh, how he could do the same. "You're sure?"  
  
"Yeah, I'm _sure_." Tetsurou rolls his eyes, before lightheartedly saying "Why does everyone think I like Akaashi though?"   
  
Koutarou seems genuinely surprised at that question, "You're joking right?"  
  
"Never been more serious in my life, Bokuto." Tetsurou says.  
  
"It's just..." Koutarou looked more confused than anything "you're different around him, and anyone could tell."   
  
"I could tell if I was acting different from someone, Bokuto." Tetsurou snorts "Akaashi shouldn't be any different."  
  
_But he is. Keiji was really different._ He hears at the back of his mind, mocking him with every word. Making him feel sick of regret, and pain. He excuses the thought.   
  
"I guess you're right if you say so." Koutarou hums before spiking the ball over the net. "You're just so assertive with everyone, Kuroo. Like you want them to get with your way, and that's why you're always so sly and provoking."  
  
"But with Akaashi?" Koutarou says in a small chuckle when saying the name. "You're relaxed, and passive. You let yourself be won over. You do things his way. I've never seen you more peaceful with someone, dude. Not even Kenma."  
  
"You watch me too much." Tetsurou manages to joke out.  
  
Koutarou laughs, "No, you're just obvious."   
  
  
  
+++  
  
  
  
Tetsurou didn't want to be petty. He really didn't. Kenma started talking to him again but he was still sure the younger was totally enraged with him even if he doesn't show it. Although, talking to him has been less and less frequent after the match with Karasuno. Tetsurou's sure that orange haired kid is taking up most of Kenma's time nowadays.   
  
He's been distracting himself, and making sure he stays distracted. He's been studying more, and focusing even more on volleyball and the team—especially now they have a new member Haiba Lev who's slacking really badly in comparison to the rest of Nekoma.   
  
He hasn't spoken to Keiji since the graduation party, and that was nearly three months ago or something. Koutarou's socials have been filled with the two's recent adventures and Tetsurou didn't want to admit that the horrid feeling dwelling in his stomach was the result of all that.   
  
Tetsurou didn't want to admit a lot of things. Maybe he was just that stubborn. He didn't want to admit that he was getting lesser sleep, or that his room is slowly turning into a disorganized mess. He didn't want to acknowledge his horrible eating schedule which consists of bread for breakfast, skipping lunch to play volleyball, a small convenience store snack before going home and refusing to eat dinner with his father and grandfather. (To which he'll later regret and force himself to eat at least a little bit by twelve midnight.)   
  
Maybe he deserved this. He deserved to suffer. With everything piled up, Tetsurou was totally sure that he deserved all the shit that comes in between everything.   
  
Days become slower, yet at the same time, it surprises him on how fast Saturdays came. Although, it's not like he goes out for Saturdays anymore. Nor does he go out in general now. At this point, he's sure Kenma has breathed in more fresh air these past three months than Tetsurou did.   
  
He knew he needed to get his life together soon. Maybe officially forget about Keiji, and the mysterious pain he's left him in. Tetsurou doesn't really understand half the shit he's had with Keiji, nor does he could ever make the numbing pain he feels everyday make sense.   
  
He hopes to be run over a car soon. He thinks felt pain is less painful than the numbing and blank ones he's starting to feel everyday.   
  
"Alright," someone says. Tetsurou looks up from where he was seated. He was in a cafe—the cafe he used to go with Koutarou and Keiji before _that_ happened—to study. "I knew it was bad, but I didn't think it was _that_ bad."  
  
"Huh?" Tetsurou watches as a boy in chocolate brown hair and the prettiest yet _most punchable_ smile sat down in front of him.   
  
"It's been a long time, Tetsu-chan." Tooru crosses his arms. "Haven't seen you since the middle school competitions and my twitter feed which you are now inactive in."   
  
"What are you doing in Tokyo?" Tetsurou narrows his eyes. His head hurts when he thinks of it, and the sight of his old friend isn't making it feel better. "Aren't you from Miyagi? Where's Iwaizumi?"  
  
"Shut up already. Iwa-chan doesn't know I'm here. He'd kill me once he knew." Tooru rolls his eyes, legs crossed as well as his arms. Typical Oikawa Tooru. "Besides, I'm here for you."  
  
"How did you find me?" Tetsurou asks "and more importantly, why does this matter to you?"  
  
"God, I don't remember you being so..." Tooru stops to find the right word "annoying."   
  
"Thanks." Tetsurou sighs "I _really_ needed that, Tooru."  
  
"I just heard from a little bird—or many—that all you've been doing was moping around, okay? And I felt bad so I decided to pay my old friend a visit." Tooru huffs "Now, is that a bad thing?"  
  
"You only came here because you're bored of Miyagi and you want to find out all the shit that’s happening in Tokyo." Tetsurou accuses. Even though a part of him knows Tooru is telling the truth. “You probably lost to Shiratorizawa again.”  
  
“We don’t speak of that, Tetsurou.” Tooru glares “I thought you knew better.”  
  
Tetsurou merely shrugs.  
  
In all honesty, he’s genuinely shocked to see him right now. He met the boy back in the mentioned volleyball middle school competition season. They only met once, but they've bonded quite well with their mischievous personalities to the point where they stuck with their bond. Tetsurou was sure that the only thing they have in their friendship was sending memes, replying to each other's tweets or snaps with insults, or just merely asking how the other was doing. It was kind of endearing that Tooru has come all this way to cheer him up. (Hopefully.)  
  
"I don't think you understand how obvious and worried people are for you." Tooru takes Tetsurou's fork and gets a slice of his cake to eat. "What's up?"  
  
"Just fucked a few things up." Tetsurou sighs, pushing the plate of cake towards Tooru so that the latter can have it all.   
  
"Very specific, Tetsu-chan." Tooru hums mockingly before meeting the other's eye "You can tell me, you know?"  
  
"You're sometimes a brat, so I'm not sure." Tetsurou raises an eyebrow. Tooru points the fork accusingly at the middle blocker, making them both laugh.  
  
After a quick explanation, Tooru breathes out, "That's some deep shit you got yourself into, Tetsurou."   
  
"Yeah, thanks for pointing that out, captain obvious." Tetsurou rolls his eyes.  
  
"Who is this Akaashi Keiji anyways?" He then proceeds to ask.  
  
"Fukurodani's setter." He says.  
  
"A setter?"  
  
"Oh, so _now_ you're interested?" He scoffs in disbelief.   
  
"Well, Tetsu-chan." Tooru hums "I can't really say anything because you're the one digging yourself your grave. Simply, dig out of it."  
  
Tetsurou falls quiet. "You fucking suck at giving advice. Why are you here?"   
  
"There's a nice pastry shop here that isn't this one, and also I care about my friend." Tooru sighs. Tetsurou was about to make another comment before the other boy continues, "I don't know if you need to hear this, or how _much_ you need to hear this before you actually get it but you're a hypocrite."  
  
"I've heard."  
  
"Then _listen_." Tooru says sternly that it’s almost scary "You preach what you don't do, Tetsu-chan. When was the last time you told someone to care about themselves with you also doing the same? You matter too, Tetsurou. It's not always about everyone else."  
  
"Tooru—" "You think and analyze everyone else around you," He says while taking the last bite of the cake "but I can never say that you do the same for yourself. Think about it. Think about yourself."  
  
"Sure." He gives up. Okay, maybe sometimes Tooru made sense.  
  
"Great~!" He smiles while showing Tetsurou his phone "Now you can bring me to the pastry shop I wanted to go to."  
  
"What?" He narrows his eyes "But they have their own branch at Miyagi?"  
  
"I feel like it's better here in Tokyo." Tooru smiles "Hurry up, I have to get back home today before Iwa-chan notices I'm gone."  
  
There's a ding from Tooru's phone to which Tetsurou smirks at, "Too late."  
  
Tooru turns pale before hurriedly helping his friend pack up his books, "I told you to hurry up, rooster head."   
  
"Okay, okay." He closes his bag and runs after Tooru as they get out of the cafe.  
  
  
  
+++  
  
  
  
"Who told you about my 'moping around'?" Tetsurou asks Tooru at one point.  
  
Tooru had three bags of pastries to which he reasoned that he wanted to get treats for his teammates at Seijoh. The chocolate haired ponders, "Your kitty setter told the shrimp who told Tobio-chan by accident which then weirdly got to Kunimi-kun because I'm pretty sure the two of them have something going on, then it reached Iwa-chan then me."   
  
"You scare me sometimes."  
  
  
  
+++  
  
  
  
The meeting with Tooru has greatly affected Tetsurou for the better. He's gotten back on his feet, not completely, but enough for him to look like he isn't a dying corpse.  
  
Nobuyuki has even complimented him for it, "I'm glad to see you back to normal, Kuroo."  
  
"Since when was I not normal?" Tetsurou said back with a cat-like smile.  
  
"Since forever." Morisuke had responded, closing the conversation from the moment it started. "Weirdo."  
  
He was pulling together his team quite well. It was summer training camp season again, and he's heard about Karasuno coming along to join it. Kenma seemed enthusiastic. He didn't show it, but Tetsurou knew Kenma enough to know how much he's looking forward to it.   
  
"I'm not excited." Kenma said.  
  
"You are." Tetsurou smirks "Hinata is gonna be there and you get excited when you see Hinata play."  
  
"I don't." Kenma mumbles, hands gripping his controller tighter as he tries to focus on his game.  
  
"You do." He teases "It's like the same expression you get when you buy a new game. You know your eyes get all sparkly, and determined."  
  
"What?" Kenma looks away from his game for a moment to look at Tetsurou but then looks back to the tv "I don't."  
  
"You do."  
  
"I don't."  
  
A small pause. "You do."  
  
  
  
+++  
  
  
  
Tetsurou is starting to believe that him teasing someone else would only land in some form of karma. Kenma snorts the moment they walk off of their bus, "You keep teasing me about Hinata and yet you forgot all about your little problem with Keiji."   
  
"You—" "but apparently, Shouyou failed his exams." Kenma then hums before turning to Tetsurou in the slightest "What a shame."   
  
Tetsurou watches as Kenma wanders off with the rest of his team towards their rooms. It took a few hours to finally get settled in and to start playing. Tetsurou hasn't seen the other teams yet, let alone Fukurodani. So in better words, he was fucking nervous.   
  
"Please don't shit your pants when we get to the gym." Morisuke sighs while patting the taller male at his back "We need our captain in full function."  
  
"Stop." Tetsurou sighs " _stop_."   
  
The first day goes on like that. Tobio and Shouyou show up out of nowhere but even with them around, Karasuno still lost most of the matches they've played. It was funny to watch them struggle, even Kenma had started laughing at it.  
  
Tetsurou let his smile hang loose on his lips when, "Our next match is Fukurodani."  
  
"Fukurodani?" Lev blatantly asks "The one with the setter Kuroo-san hurt?"   
  
"This is the only time I'm gonna tell you I'm proud of you, Lev." Morisuke comments from the side.  
  
Tetsurou rolls his eyes, "I didn't—" Kenma glares at him. Tetsurou shuts up. "Anyway, let's play this game like any other game, alright? Don't get scared just because Bokuto's suddenly good at hitting straight shots again. I'm looking at you Kenma."  
  
"Whatever." He mumbles "At least I'm not the one who's made problems with a different team's player."   
  
"Oh, he got you there, Kuroo-san." Taketora says.  
  
He breathes in, before he makes his really sappy 'inspirational' captain speech he does before every match. The said match goes by smoothly. Keiji looked more fit than he remembered. He was very focused on the game (as he should be), and didn't even dare spark a conversation with Tetsurou even though they were standing right in front of each other but separated by the net.  
  
They lost, unfortunately, but this time it was because of Tetsurou's fault. The day ends like that. After a hefty dinner, Tetsurou finds himself roaming the halls in search of a vending machine. He spots one, then immediately regrets.  
  
"Oh," the voice sounds familiar— _too_ familiar, and it's never changed. Maybe it got more deeper, and in a more insane level of calm. It erases every one of his memories of hearing an excited Keiji talking about a book over the phone, or the way his voice quivers when he's scared, or the lighter aspect of his tone—the one that was more calm and less robotic. Tetsurou finds himself in the same place he started. "Kuroo-san."  
  
"Akaashi." He turns to see the boy holding a drink of tea. "I haven't seen you since, um, yeah."  
  
"Yeah." Keiji breathes out, and nods in acknowledgement. Tetsurou hates it here. He wants to bury himself alive under the heaps and heaps of volleyball spikes. (If that was a thing.)  
  
"So..." it was awkward, but Tetsurou isn't sure if he can escape the conversation now "How are you?"  
  
Keiji lets his eyes wander for awhile before settling on an, "I've been better."  
  
"Right." Tetsurou nods, before letting himself try and get comfortable in the irritating tension between them. He welcomes a teasing lilt to find his words, "How are you and Bokuto? Going strong?"  
  
"Only for five months, yeah." Keiji nods before stepping forward. Tetsurou unknowingly steps back. He earns a frown. "Well, I'll be heading back to my team's room now."  
  
"Sure, okay." And Keiji leaves like that, _again_. He sighs, and suddenly, he doesn't want to get a drink. He wants a distraction and that's how he finds himself walking towards a gym in hopes to spike his problems away.   
  
The universe wasn't at his side when he sees Koutarou inside. He couldn't leave because apparently the other had already seen him. "Oh, Kuroo. What's up?"  
  
"Hey," he forces a smile and walks in a little more. He picks up a ball. "We haven't talked in a while, huh?"  
  
"I've been busy." Koutarou accepts the set Tetsurou gives him "and I'm pretty sure you were too."  
  
"I guess." He hums, grabbing another ball. "Why are you practicing alone? Where's Akaashi?"  
  
"Oh, he wanted some space tonight." He explains casually, as if the two weren't always stuck to the hip.  
  
"That's new." Tetsurou manages to snort,  
  
"Well," Koutarou draws that word on like a child reading for the first time "We broke up today."   
  
Tetsurou stops for a moment, unknowingly dropping the ball he was holding. He turns to Koutarou who was staring at the other side of the net, "What?"  
  
"Maybe it wasn't a good idea to date someone who isn't over someone else." Koutarou shrugs "or maybe it wasn't a good idea to date when you're in denial about your feelings for someone else."   
  
"Are you guys gonna be okay?" is the first thing Tetsurou asks. Keiji and Koutarou were inseparable, and he's sure a breakup might effect their team dynamics.   
  
"Yeah, we just need a day off from each other." Koutarou assures with his bright smile. "It wasn't that painful anyways. We agreed on things, and disagreed on others, but we promised to stay as friends though—nothing is gonna change that. There's no way I'm letting a half-assed relationship break my friendship with Keiji."  
  
Tetsurou doesn't understand why he feels so relieved at the moment. But then he starts to feel guilty, and then follows the insanity. He needs to stop thinking, _now_.   
  
"We're just not meant to be, you know?" Koutarou laughs like it was nothing, like he didn't use the last five months loving someone he couldn't love back or someone who couldn't love him at all. It was something Tetsurou admired about the other. How his positivity can be so strong that everything bad is just another opportunity to be good.   
  
"If you say so." Tetsurou picks up the ball he's dropped.  
  
"You shouldn't be worried about us, Kuroo." Koutarou turns to him "We're gonna be fine."   
  
"Yeah, yeah." He sets a ball for the other, and the spike was stronger than the previous ones he's hit tonight. "I'm not worried."  
  
A few more sets, and a few more spikes in silence before Koutarou calls for a small break. (Which was weird because Tetsurou thought that was _his_ job.)  
  
"Akaashi really likes you, you know?" Koutarou says the moment his feet touch the ground after spiking the last ball "He couldn't stop asking about you when the two of you first met."  
  
"What?"  
  
"First it started with 'what's wrong with his hair' to 'let me know more about him'." Koutarou talks about it like some fond memory, but Tetsurou doesn't understand why because, didn't they _just_ break up?   
  
Tetsurou starts to feel more and more like shit. Was he the reason why they decided to break things off? No, it can't be.   
  
"At first," the other continues "I thought he just wanted to know more about you so it'll be easier to defeat you during the spring tournament. The 'know your enemy' kind of jazz? Typical Keiji."  
  
Tetsurou stares at his best friend, and the fond smile on his lips.   
  
"Akaashi thinks he's some sly owl, but he really isn't." Koutarou laughs, picking up the ball and spinning it in his hands "and I'm not _that_ dumb, you know?"  
  
"I kept talking to him about you like how a best friend would talk about his best friend," he hums "or I think that's the reason Akaashi thought I was doing it."  
  
"But I actually just talked about you to him because," he meets Tetsurou's eyes from across the court "there's this gleam in his eyes when I do, and that only happens when were talking about either volleyball, or you, Kuroo."   
  
"I wish you could see it." Koutarou says, then sighs deeply. The sigh sounded relieved, but Tetsurou knew the other like the back of his hand. He was able to pick out the undertones of sadness, and disappointment. "And sometimes, I wish it was because of me. It would've been easier like that but... He likes you, and I like someone else."   
  
"I'm sorry." He mutters. Great, now he's hurting everyone that's close to him. Keiji, Kenma, and now, Koutarou. It's only a matter of time until he'll get the whole world to hate him just the same.  
  
"I shouldn't be the one you should be saying sorry to, Tetsurou." The spiker shrugs "I've already accepted it a long time ago. It's your turn."   
  
And of course, Tetsurou didn't know what that meant.   
  
  
  
+++  
  
  
  
"Keiji. Hey, Keiji."   
  
"Bokuto-san, it's almost two am."  
  
"Are you sure you like Kuroo?"  
  
A short silence. "Why?"  
  
"I don't know. He's too much of an idiot for you, Keiji."  
  
"Yeah," he sighs "But we can never get what we want, Bokuto-san."  
  
"I guess you're right."  
  
  
  
+++  
  
  
  
Tetsurou isn't as nervous as he was before the training camp started. Koutarou, him and even Keiji started practicing together at the third gym after every day of training camp. From the looks of it, Keiji and Koutarou looked more closer than ever. He finds it astounding that their breakup has turned them into better friends.  
  
Keiji still kept his distance, but was starting to make small talk with Tetsurou only when necessary. From there, they were back where they started.   
  
Tetsurou took the time they had in the third gym to whip Lev into shape. Along with that, they met a rather attitude filled first year from Karasuno named Tsukishima Kei which seemed very unenthusiastic towards the concept of volleyball. (It pissed both Koutarou, and Tetsurou off. If it weren't for Keiji, they would've fought Kei by now.) Thankfully by the end of it, Kei started joining their nightly practices at the third gym after Koutarou oh-so heroically answered his question of why they played volleyball in the first place. At one point, Shouyou joined in and Koutarou has found himself a cute little kouhai.   
  
It was the second to the last day at training camp when Tetsurou gets left alone with Keiji to clean up the equipment. He turns to the setter, "You know you can go ahead. What if you run out of food?"  
  
"What if _you_ run out of food?" Keiji retorts back to which Tetsurou doesn't answer in.  
  
Keiji picks up a ball, then two, then places it inside the cart. Tetsurou just started to untie the net from the poles. They let this silence go on for a little bit longer when Tetsurou decides that it's enough.  
  
"Why didn't you tell me you and Bokuto broke up?" Tetsurou asks suddenly.  
  
"You didn't ask me." Keiji says simply "and I'm pretty sure I implied it when you asked me how long we were going strong for."  
  
"Well..." a sigh "...fine, you got me."   
  
Keiji laughs a little bit, "It isn't a big deal though. Bokuto-san had his reasons, and I have mine."  
  
"That's exactly what he told me." _And other things too_. But Tetsurou isn't too sure if he should mention them right here, and in front of Keiji. Would he be invading too much? If he did, how much of Keiji would he lose again?   
  
"Ah, well," Keiji nods "Bokuto-san and Konoha-san have a lot of things unresolved. So, that's one of them."  
  
"Konoha..." It all starts to make sense now. "And Bokuto?"   
  
"Yes, It was really obvious now that I think of it." Keiji laughs at the other's innocence "Konoha-san always became so truculent towards Bokuto-san, and Bokuto-san being emotional always took Konoha-san's words to heart."  
  
"Bokuto thinks Konoha was just bullying him, huh." Tetsurou snorts "but Konoha just wants what's best for him because he likes him."  
  
"Something like that?" Keiji tilts his head to the side in confusion. Tetsurou almost felt his heart fly out his chest. "The two of them are so complicated. I could never understand them."  
  
"That's what you get when you put those two together." Tetsurou places the rolled up net inside of the storage room. Keiji follows behind him, pushing the cart of volleyballs in as well. "How long do you think they'd last if they dated?"  
  
"Kuroo-san, you're vile for even thinking about that." Keiji narrows his eyes before smiling snidely "but I think five years."   
  
Tetsurou lets out a dramatic gasp, "Akaashi! Have some faith in them."   
  
"It's either they last for five years, or Konoha-san would start working at a pharmaceutical company so that he'd know which medicine to use when professional volleyball player Bokuto-san needs when he gets injured." Keiji then adds before smiling innocently "Better?"  
  
"That's oddly specific, Akaashi." Tetsurou laughs "but I can see it."   
  
"You're not gonna argue with me?" He asks as they take down the polls of the volleyball net to place inside the storage room. Tetsurou closes the doors and lets Keiji follow him out of the empty gymnasium.   
  
He shakes his head, "No, I think you're right about that one."   
  
  
  
+++  
  
  
  
"Don't you think Bokuto-san and Akaashi-san would make a good couple?" Tadashi says to Kei as they sat on the grass eating slices of watermelon. It was the last day of training camp and they were eating snacks outside on the grass. Tobio and Shouyou were arguing behind them, but Kei has mastered the art of ignoring idiots. "They seem really close. _Too_ close."  
  
"You think so?" Kei softly laughs at Tadashi's innocence. "I think Kuroo-san and Akaashi-san have something going on."  
  
"They don't talk to each other though." Tadashi takes a bite from his watermelon slice "It's like they avoid each other."   
  
"Hm, I guess you're too dense to see it, Yamaguchi." Kei comments. To anyone else, Kei would've sounded like an asshole, but the blonde makes sure to make his sentence a little more softer for Tadashi to pick out the teasing and fond essence of it.  
  
Tadashi looks at Kei who shrugs unapologetically. He huffs, mildly offended, "Tsukki!"   
  
  
  
+++  
  
  
  
Nationals were just around the corner. Tetsurou was surprised Nekoma has made it this far. They lost to Fukurodani during the interhigh, but was surprisingly given another chance by the prefecture since they wanted a third representative.  
  
He was confident enough that they would make it far into the competition, but he thinks that it'll only be pure luck if they make it into finals. Kenma yawns beside him, "You think we're going against Shouyou?"  
  
"You really only think of him, huh?" Tetsurou teases as they walk into the venue. Kenma has already half-forgiven him for what he's done to Keiji—only because the two seemed like they were on good terms already. Kenma seemed to want more, but Tetsurou didn't know what he was asking for.   
  
"He's interesting." Kenma merely says before focusing back on his game.  
  
Tetsurou decides not to pry any further. Nationals happen just like that. The only thing they did was play matches, watch matches, eat then fall asleep by the end of the day. They won on their first rounds, then inevitably lost to Karasuno when they went against them. Kenma seemed to have enjoyed that match though. (And enjoyed the kiss he received from Shouyou a few minutes after the game.)  
  
Tetsurou would've teased badly, but of course, someone else was there to give their congratulations as well. Koutarou smiles, "Hey, hey, hey! Congrats on making it this far."  
  
"Are you talking to me or—" "Hinata, of course. Move it, loser." Koutarou unapologetically pushes Tetsurou aside to steal Shouyou from Kenma who looked like an angry kitten.   
  
Tetsurou scoffs in disbelief before hearing someone clear his throat. Suddenly everything feels a little bit hotter. Keiji smiles, "You did good out there."  
  
"We lost."   
  
"But you still did really good." Keiji continues while walking towards him. Tetsurou couldn't find any part of him that wanted to argue. "Although, I partially think it's your fault that you've lost."  
  
"Seriously?" Tetsurou crosses his arms "I thought you're supposed to make me feel better."   
  
"Well, I suppose so." Keiji hums "but it isn't my fault that you decided to teach Tsukki all your tricks as a middle blocker. He's surpassed you at this point."  
  
"We both know Tsukki has surpassed me even before I taught him my 'tricks'." Tetsurou says "He's always been a good player. Someone just needed to get that out of him."  
  
"You're a good player too though." Keiji says again "I kinda wished we could've played against each other again."  
  
"So you could win?" Tetsurou raises an eyebrow.   
  
"Perhaps," Keiji ponders, "It'll be in front of national television too. So, that's a lot of embarrassment to carry."   
  
"I'm hurt, Akaashi." Tetsurou sighs, but kept a smile on his lips.  
  
The setter smiles back before saying, "It's Keiji."   
  
"Kei—um," Tetsurou might've let his mind malfunction for a little too long because the other has started to laugh at him. " _Keiji._ "  
  
"That's me, Kuroo-san." He says.   
  
"Well, _Keiji._ " Tetsurou is feeling too excited with this "You haven't lost yet, have you?"  
  
"Not _yet_." Keiji says as he stares at Koutarou talking to both Shouyou and Kei. He turns to Tetsurou, "You'll watch us, right?"   
  
"Of course." And he does. Tetsurou watches as Fukurodani makes it to finals. He watches as they played their match at the center stage where everyone was watching them. The lights, the cameras, the cheers, and all eyes focused on that one singular game.   
  
He watches as Keiji sets perfectly to Koutarou and the rest of his teammates. Keiji really leads their team well. He was the greatest pillar of support despite being younger than most of their members.   
  
Tetsurou was suddenly reminded of last year, and the scared first year Akaashi Keiji trembling in front of a lecture hall door. The same Keiji who was staying up all night talking to Tetsurou about a book he had just read only for the older to read it the day after even if he already knew what would happen.   
  
Akaashi Keiji, the one Tetsurou couldn't see through at first but now knows the smallest things about. The way his lips perk up at even the slightest of amusing things, the way his hands immediately find each other the moment he gets nervous, the way Keiji’s voice lilts in a feigned tone of innocence every time he decided to say something brutally honest.  
  
Akaashi Keiji was quick-witted. He knew too much. He was a smart-ass. He was silent, and kept everything to himself. He didn't like attention, and chose to be disregarded at the side. He was blank-faced, and monotoned.  
  
He was all _that_ but the moment Tetsurou would ask him if he was okay, he'd shatter into a mess of tumbled up words. He was secretly nervous. He overthought too much. He self-doubts. He basks in the attention given to him like it was the only time he'll get it. He talks too much. He laughs too loudly. He had the most colorful of eyes, and the brightest of voices when he talked about what was interesting. He smiled like he was having a competition with the whole galaxy.   
  
And there was Akaashi Keiji setting the last set of the whole game. Tetsurou watches him like he always has. He watches as his fingers leave the ball. Koutarou jumps to spike it. That sound was the only thing Tetsurou could hear, then the whistle blew.  
  
Fukurodani has lost.   
  
  
  
+++  
  
  
  
"Congrats." Tetsurou says as he goes up to Keiji who was walking off of the court. Tetsurou could vaguely see Akinori trying to cheer Koutarou up by assuring him and holding his hand.   
  
"We didn't win, Kuroo-san." Keiji states as he accepts the water bottle given to him by Tetsurou "I'm sure you watched the game."  
  
"I wouldn't miss it for the world." He smiles genuinely.  
  
"You had no choice whether you wanted to leave or not." Keiji then continues to say "All teams are required to stay here until the end of the competition."  
  
"Can you stop being such a smart-ass and take my compliment?" Tetsurou glares at the setter.  
  
"Right." Keiji laughs, and Tetsurou's heart beats a little louder at that and a little _harder_ to the point where he's winded. It takes a moment for the younger's laugh to fade into small giggles.  
  
Tetsurou sees the other's eyes wander to his contented teammates who were talking to other groups, the way his hands were at each side of his body, his messy hair half-wet from the sweat he garnered from the game, he looked tired—his eyes said so, and this really wasn't the best version of Akaashi Keiji he has seen in his life.   
  
But then he turns back to him, meets his eyes and smiles. It was small, and tired. His eyes didn't shine brighter like how it should be when a person smiles. It looked relaxed. Keiji looked at peace—like everything he let consume him was suddenly gone for even a second, or everything Tetsurou _knew_ he had fighting inside of him disappeared the moment they met eyes. It was the most real thing Tetsurou has ever saw from him. This is Akaashi Keiji.  
  
"Thank you, Kuroo." Keiji says, another laugh following and Tetsurou's entire mind blowing up into flames.  
  
And from that, he understands _everything_ now.  
  
  
  
+++  
  
  
  
Graduation was still a thing. Tetsurou wasn't quite sure if he's lived his high school life to the fullest. Kenma assures him that he's done whatever he could. Lev tells him that he promises to uphold Tetsurou's middle blocker legacy for him. (Even though everyone knows he'll never be able to do that.) Koutarou promises him that they'll still play more matches against each other even when they reach college. Tooru texts him that they should hang out soon at a pastry shop he recently found to celebrate. And even Kei sends him a congratulatory message which didn't say much but was still really endearing for someone like the younger boy.  
  
There was just one more thing Tetsurou needed to deal with before he could officially say he's done what he could, and that was something involving Fukurodani's third year setter and captain of the volleyball team Akaashi Keiji.   
  
He wasn't quite sure why it took him this long. Well, he wasn't the greatest at emotions—or more specifically, his _own_ emotions. He wasn't that good at organizing his own thoughts for it to make sense to him later. He wasn't good at being selfish, or self-centered. Tetsurou comes to realize that he isn't really good at everything as he thought he was.   
  
He was bad at talking about himself. He didn't know how to. He was bad at being honest. He was really stubborn at admitting things. He didn't like being wrong, and didn't like _not_ knowing anything. He was bad at being easy on himself, and like to blame himself for every horrible thing that happens. He was bad at letting himself trust other people who were obviously there for him. He was bad at trusting his own self. He was the best hypocrite, proven not only once, but more than Tetsurou could count.   
  
He was bad at so many things, and _this_ was no exception. In fact, _this_ was everything he was bad at.  
  
It's been a few days since graduation. Tetsurou has given his third button for Kenma to (hopefully) keep dearly for himself. It was mid-spring. The cherry blossoms have already bloomed already giving Tetsurou a sense of a new beginning. He takes in a deep breath before continuing his walk.   
  
He's been thinking, and unthinking. He rethought his words, and scratched it all off to think of new ones. He has a button gripped in his right hand. The second one.   
  
Making his way to a familiar door, he knocks thrice for good measure. The door opens after five seconds (Tetsurou is counting. He's nervous.) and he's met with a young woman with familiar green-blue eyes.   
  
"Are you Keiji's sister?" Tetsurou bows lightly to which the woman fondly laughs at.  
  
"Nice guess. I'm his mom." The woman smiles teasingly. Tetsurou can certainly confirm that this woman is related to Keiji.  
  
"O-oh, um, I'm so sorry. I didn't..." Tetsurou waves his hands frantically. He's never been this nervous in his life, and he's done so much wild shit already. He pauses, then bows. "I'm sorry, Akaashi-san."   
  
"It's alright." The woman laughs before opening the door to let Tetsurou in. She even politely offers him a pair of house slippers which Tetsurou graciously accepts. "Keiji is watering the plants at the backyard. I'll go make some tea."  
  
"Thank you, Akaashi-san." Tetsurou finds himself bowing once again before the woman leaves with a small chuckle on her lips.  
  
He regrets not asking Keiji's mom as to where their backyard is, but after a few minutes of dumbly walking around, he finds it. Keiji was indeed there, one hand holding a watering can and the other resting limp on his side. It was funny seeing him dressed in his school joggers and a plain black shirt even though school ended a few days prior.   
  
"Keiji." Tetsurou calls out to which the boy jumps up in surprise.   
  
He relaxes after realizing who it was and puts a hand over his chest, "Oh, it's just you, Kuroo."  
  
"Guess the plants really have your attention huh?" Tetsurou teases.  
  
Keiji rolls his eyes, "My mom adores her plants more than me. If I pay the slightest bit of attention off of them, I'm suddenly the one being disowned."  
  
"Talk about tough love." Tetsurou laughs, before sitting down on the patio of the house and resting his back against the sliding door behind him. Keiji doesn't mind him and continues to water the plants.  
  
"What brings you here?" Keiji asks.   
  
At that, Tetsurou remembers why he was so nervous. He breathes in before smiling, "Is bad that I'm here?"  
  
"Shouldn't you be preparing to move into your college dorms or something?" Keiji hums "I'm sure you've gotten into a prestigious school, Kuroo. I mean, with a brain like that?"  
  
"You flatter me too much, Keiji." Tetsurou teases.  
  
"I try."  
  
"But no." He shakes his head "I'm taking a college here in Tokyo. It's like a bus ride away."  
  
"Seriously?" Keiji's shock is evident in his voice "How come?"  
  
"Well," he slowly says "There's just some things I don't wanna leave, you know?"  
  
"Hm, If I were you, I would've left Tokyo when I had the chance. I’d even choose Miyagi than here. Residing in the countryside seems nice, you know?" Keiji argues before sighing "There's so much more in Japan than just here, Kuroo."  
  
"Is there?" He keeps his eyes at Keiji as the boy turns around briefly to look back at him.   
  
"Totally."   
  
"I see." Tetsurou stands up, trying to relax under the heat of the spring sun. Keiji turns around at the sound of that. "I'm here because I wanted to give you something."  
  
"A farewell gift?" Keiji teases "We can still meet during Saturdays since your school isn't too far, Kuroo."  
  
"I'm aware of that, Keiji." He says "And it's Tetsurou."   
  
Keiji doesn't stop himself from smiling, "Oh yeah, Tetsurou? What do you have for me?"  
  
The older fishes into his pocket before holding his hand out. There laid a black button with delicate gold accents on it proving that it was from the school of Nekoma. Tetsurou could feel his hand shaking as Keiji stared at it.  
  
"The third?" He asks.  
  
"The second." He replies.   
  
"What—?" "I like you, Keiji." Tetsurou admits, looking at him as his eyebrows raise in shock and his eyes look up to meet his. "I know it took me so long, and I hurt you. I know I did, but I like you, and I want you to have this."  
  
Keiji opens his mouth to speak, but decides against it as he takes the button from Tetsurou's hand. The older breathes out, "Listen, I caused you a lot of trouble for the past two years. I don't expect you to accept my feelings or anything, nor do I expect that you still like me at all but—" "You're stupid."   
  
"I—" Tetsurou pauses before taking in the way Keiji was smiling at him.  
  
" _Really_ dumb for someone like you, Tetsurou." Keiji comments. “I could never stop liking you.”  
  
"What? How could you still like me?" He asks astonished "After all that?"  
  
Keiji's eyes drift towards the button on his hand. He smiles at it before his face contorts a bit into confusion. His eyebrows furrow, and lips frown slightly, "Holy shit, Tetsurou. You're seriously the dumbest person out there, and I'm in love with you."  
  
"Keiji?" He calls out, watching as one tear drops onto the grass. One turns into two then three then five.   
  
"But then, aren't I the dumbest for falling in love with you?" His sobs are mix of laughs, and confused pain. Tetsurou feels his stomach twisting in familiar nervousness.   
  
"Why?" He asks softly. He has no idea why he let those words slip through his lips but he just hates seeing the other like this.   
  
"It's because..." Keiji looks distraught and it was an awful look on him, or maybe Tetsurou wasn't used to it, and honestly? He _doesn't_ want to be used to seeing Keiji like this. "Y-you _listen_ to me, and you're genuinely interested? You make me _feel_ important, and you go through so much bullshit that I don't even ask you to do just so you would be able to talk about the things _I_ like with me. I-It's just..."  
  
"No one ever wanted to listen to me." He mumbles, voice small but it wasn't in his usual manner of calm and soothing voices. Keiji sounded vulnerable. "I always felt like everything I say or would say is unimportant, that no one would care, or that I wasn't too interesting."   
  
"Then you and your stupid bed hair come along with your jackass smile and you..." Keiji takes in a breath to control his breathing. He's crying too much. Tetsurou wants to reach out, even for a moment _._ _  
__  
_ Keiji looks up to him _,_ "Who _wouldn't_ fall in love with you?"  
  
Tetsurou opens his mouth to speak, but then Keiji shakes his head. "Then you have all kinds of audacity to make me feel like shit, to make me do things when I wasn't in my right mind. You do that, and you come here telling me that you _like_ me?"  
  
"Hey..." Tetsurou sighs, finally allowing himself to reach out and run a hand through Keiji's hair "I'm sorry, and I know it'll never make up for everything I did but I really mean what I said."  
  
"Then say it again." He says through a shaky breath.  
  
"Keiji, I like you." Tetsurou says without a second to waste.   
  
" _Damn,_ I like you too." Keiji says back like he hated that he did. (Which was most likely true anyway.)   
  
"It feels weird admitting it out loud now." Tetsurou says honestly before frowning. He takes one of Keiji's hands and wipes the latter's tears away with the other "I still have a lot to say to you. You _do_ know that, right?"  
  
"I know." He assures, peacefully placing a hand over the one Tetsurou had over his cheek. He stares at the other for a bit before leaning in to kiss him on the lips quickly. Tetsurou stays stunned for a moment before raising a suggestive eyebrow and returning the favor but this time a little bit longer.   
  
Keiji laughs as they part with his cheeks starting to dust red under the spring sunlight. He hums contentedly, "But we have all the time in the world for us."  
  
Tetsurou finds himself believing that. He doesn’t know where they’d end up in the future, but it wasn’t like any of it was going to happen too soon. Right now was Keiji in his arms and under the shade of his mother’s black pine tree without the thought of letting go of him.   
  
Tetsurou knows he still has to make it up to other. He still has so many things to say, so many things to do and so many things to still figure out. But there wasn’t a rush. Not when Keiji’s here to anchor him down. They can take it slow, and steady.   
  
The silence is what makes Keiji want to speak again, “Do you trust me, Tetsurou?”  
  
"Yeah, I do." 

**Author's Note:**

> If you made it this far, then hi I hope you enjoyed this. Btw, I totally didn't pour out my personality and struggles on Akaashi's character... I don't know what you're talking about. Anyway, feel free to leave comments! ♡♡


End file.
